Soul Mates

Not long ago, I casually mentioned to someone it was possible in life to have more than one Great Love. That remark astonished them.

I discovered there were at least two reasons they felt astonished. In the first place, it’s what they’d been taught. They’d been taught every person has a soul mate and the task of each of us is to find our soul mate — but that we only have one.

No one had ever told them you might have more than one.

In the second place, they had emotionally invested in the notion we have one soul mate in life. It was a source of comfort and hope to them, for it meant they might someday find that person, along with love and happiness.

Well, for what it’s worth, I’ve known people who’ve found more than one Great Love in their lives. I’m not trying to say soul mates are a dime a dozen here, but I’d recommend folks keep an open mind about how many they might find. Life has a way of surprising us.

Just a late night thought.

20 thoughts on “Soul Mates”

  1. if there is only ONE great love of your life, then I might as well give up now. AS my great love came and left YEARS ago.

    Im going to hang on to the Bronx Tale theory: You get THREE great loves.

    I still get to have 2 more.


  2. I agree…
    I once thought I had a soul mate & that there could never be anyone else I could love….

    Till she divorced me for another man.

    My relationship with my 2nd wife is closer, better & more wonderful than the 1st ever was. She has become my best friend.


  3. I have difficulty with labeling a relationship as “Great Love” until my life is nearly over.

    In looking back at my (really quite short) relationship history, I’ve been with women who I thought were my “Great Loves” at the time, only to realize later that whatever I might have had with them wasn’t “love” (let alone “Great Love”).

    Overall, I agree with the idea of multiple Soul Mates, to the extent that I question the very idea of “Soul Mate”. I think given the right circumstances, one can form a deep, intense spiritual bond with just about anybody. And who is to say that those conditions won’t manifest again some time in the future…? As you say, life has a way of surprising us.


  4. Great post… really strikes a chord just now!

    I think we go through many different stages in our lives, growing as people and changing what we do and what we care about. So it makes sense that as we do this, we should find different soulmates, who are right for us at different stages of our soul’s journey.

    Which, as someone who not long ago split up with someone I thought was my soulmate, is encouraging!



  5. I agree. It isn’t the soulmate per se, but someone who can ring true and come close to your soul and being.
    On teh same note I also believe it’s very possible to feel a connection and a bond with 2 people at the same time. Expectations from what we share with each could be very different, but it can happen.
    It’s happened for me, I know.


  6. I think there are various soul mates waiting for any one of us in the wings… 🙂 but finally one needs to stick to one! I mean, barring some real unpleasant types, because soulmates don’t come off the rack! You need opportunity, luck and a certain go get that person type of attitude.
    I wonder how many soul mates I have whom I have never met? 😛


  7. I have a friend staying with me who is convinced she has had her Great Love at the age of 26, and that there’s nothing more in the pot for her. He just left her. I’m glad you posted this; it gives me something to chew on – perhaps I can lighten her load a little.


  8. Well, people die all the time. And then people find a different person to love. And another thing: the world has so many people. Just statistically, if there were only one possible great love, what the hell chances do you think anyone would have of finding that one person? Worse than a needle in a haystack.


  9. At different stages of my life I have found different soul mates – unless we both grow at the same time, we stop being soul mates after a while.
    And I also believe that a soul mate need not be a person you are living with – he could be someone happily married to someone else and yet be in an asexual relationship with you and be a soul mate. Do i make any sense?


  10. I am of the opinion that a great love and a soul mate can be quite different things. I have had several great loves, not all of them my soul mate. But I also think that we find one another at the right times in different stages in our lives. Some folks, like my parents, continue to journey together for years and years and some are in our lives for a shorter time. It does not mean that either is more precious or special. The main point is that we share love and try to bring happiness to one another in this world.


  11. Sure, I think you can have multiple soul mates in your lifetime. You change, situations change, and if you are blessed/lucky, you get a second or third opportunity.


  12. Wonderfully put. I’ve always believed that people have more than one great or true love. The dilemma is that sometimes we are not all top open to the opportunities of meeting these great loves, we miss them, ignore them, walk right past them. And sometimes we run into them too soon, all at once. There are many obstacles in love’s path, in our paths, but mainly they are the one’s that we put up.


  13. I completely agree! I derive such great pleasure from connecting with many different people of all ages and walks of life that in some way i’m connecting with all of there souls, and find kinship with many of them. I mean obviously it’s true, i’m not best friends with all of them or dating or having sex with them all lol, but the mental, emotional, and spirtitual intamacy is very real and very profound to me. It opens my mind and enriches my life and helps me be a better person to the one soulmate i have chosen to share my life with. It’s all interconnected i believe. I hope that makes sense.


  14. Another great question about the nature of love. For what’s it’s worth, I think it is possible to have more than one great love. Although, I have to say, as I’ve gotten older I do suspect I ended up marrying my soul mate. (I didn’t think this was so all through my first 12 years of marriage to him.)

    Have you noticed that you write about the nature of love quite often — more than the average bear? Just an observation.


  15. Some are lucky and find more than one… others dont’ meet even one.
    However is it necessary that one gets to spend their lifetime with their soul mates? You may have already met yoursand didn’t recognised them.
    We need to be in love with ourselves, before we can be capable of loving someone else so much that they become our soul mates.


  16. I feel I had my “true love” at a young age. It takes quite a long time to heal from that, 10 years to be exact. I think I’m about ready to find my second true love… 🙂


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