Please Help With This…

Someday, I might start dating again.  In which case, I’ll surely need to know what’s the best thing to say to a woman in order to encourage her to passionately rip open her bodice and offer up her breasts.  I’ve been working on, “I love your hair! Is it real?”  But that doesn’t seem to strike the right tone.  Is there something better to say?

18 thoughts on “Please Help With This…”

  1. They depends a lot on who you are. If it was me I would say, yummy, please can I have a quick glimpse of those delicious magnificences. But this might not work for you. Perhaps you may want to start with, “20 bucks?”


  2. Assuming you had found a woman in a bodice (do you spend a lot of time around costume drama sets or medieval reinactments?) perhaps dropping something small and wriggly down the cleavage might work… as long as you have no interest in long term relationship building potential!


  3. Paul, just be yourself man, don’t try to be someone you are not. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to just come out and say what you’re thinking. The reaction may hurt, but the statement never does.


  4. The Conversation should go like this:

    Paul: (aloud!) “OMG! I see a cockroach entering through your cleavage”
    Girl: “You naughty, let me see if you can take it out”
    Paul: “With pleasure” and goes on to write a blog post “How to kill a cockroach circa 2008”


  5. I assume since you are looking for a woman in a bodice you intend to begin the dating process by travelling back in time to about 1894. If this is the case, you’ll find the following article useful:


    Judging by this, the first thing to do is get married to ensure the lucky lass feels duty-bound to comply with your masculine perversions. Since she will not be moving about, whether to resist or comply, you can then rip the bodice off yourself.

    If it was me, though, you could just say “Rip off your bodice and offer up your breasts, love slave.” I’m a sucker for a straightforward guy.


  6. Don’t listen to the nay-sayers, Paul; girls in bodices are most handsome and there’s one out out there for each of us, I just know it.

    Actually, I saw one last week and she ran away when she saw my jester’s outfit. Maybe she just didn’t like purple.



  7. Bless you all for your profound support and help with this extraordinarily pressing decision! 😀

    I’ve immensely enjoyed reading your comments and advice!


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