It seems impossible, but I have just discovered my cute sketchbook is — missing! (Please feel free to gasp appropriately.)
No, not my large sketchbook that I never take anywhere. My large sketchbook is right where I left it, propped open to the tasteful nude on page 60. However, my cute sketchbook, the sketchbook that I am wont to throw in my backpack and take with me when I head downtown is — missing!
How can anything go missing in my tiny apartment? How is that even possible? This sort of thing simply cannot happen! Besides, a man has a right to know where his sketchbook is!
I discovered my cute sketchbook missing when I began work on a portrait of TJ. I thought I would do some rough sketches of her first so as to get the hang of her, so to speak. But when I reached for my cute sketchbook, it was — missing!
Naturally, my first thought was I had accidentally cooked and eaten it, since that would explain the acute case of indigestion I suffered last week after suicidally consuming yet another one of my home cooked meals. But on reflection, I recalled how that day I had absent-mindedly forgone reading the directions on a box of macaroni and cheese and, consequently, had understandably boiled the macaroni and cheese while still in its box. I reasoned that probably explained the indigestion, so I felt I could safely rule out having eaten my cute sketchbook. But if I hadn’t eaten it, where could it have gone?
My next thought was, as you might expect, that my dog had chewed it up. No sooner did I think that, than I was immediately incensed with the beast for destroying my artwork. But just in the nick of time, before I could punish him for his crime, I remembered I don’t have a dog. That realization, however, depressed me because I have always wanted a dog. Consequently, I spent a good part of the next hour lying under my computer table too apathetic to come out and search for my cute sketchbook.
When I finally did come out, my cute sketchbook was nowhere to be found. And that brings you up to date on the tragedy. I am at wits end where it can be. I can only hope it has been taken in by a kind family and is being used in an ethical manner.