Restless 4 U

Like most people, I have often longed to write a moving and poignant poem such as master poets write. But it has not been easy finding an image sufficiently moving and poignant for an extraordinary poem.

Fortunately, I know that certain animals are poignant.  For instance, I think most people would agree rabbits are poignant. Always poignant.

Yet, I am wondering whether my particular use of a rabbit in the following poem really does meaningfully convey the sense of poignancy one is quite apt to feel whenever one sees a rabbit?

“Restless”

Restless
I have loved you in the shadows,
And within the shadows
I have turned,
And turned again,
Restless
While loving you,
And longing for you
In the shadows
As perhaps
A rabbit might
Turn in the shadows
Restless.

I have considered replacing the rabbit with an elk.  Elk are much larger animals and therefore much more poignant than rabbits.  Any suggestions you wish to offer would be appreciated.

5 thoughts on “Restless 4 U

  1. “I have considered replacing the rabbit with an elk. Elk are much larger animals and therefore much more poignant than rabbits. Any suggestions you wish to offer would be appreciated.”

    Cougar (aka Puma, aka mountain lion, etc.) would be another option. Not sure if its predator status would, in your mind, disqualify it or not. It ceratinly spends a lot of its time in the shadows, though.

    – M. \”/

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  2. Hmm, it might be culturally dependant. Where I come from rabbits are introduced pests fit only for shootin’. The most poignant animal I can think of is the goldfish. It’s a pretty little poem though.

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  3. @ Meowlin: Perhaps I could somehow include both an elk and a cougar — or would that make the poem so poignant that even the stoics will weep when reading it?

    @ Paul: Zounds! Why have I myself not thought of the poignancy of goldfish?

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  4. Elk are many things, but poignant they ain’t. So sed my quarter horse, who hated elk more than she hated the barn. The only time she went in a barn head-first was when an elk jumped into the corral with her. Then we couldn’t extract her from the corner.

    You want to know what’s poignant? A quarter horse, used to herding longhorn steers, wedged into the corner of the barn because she’s terrified of an elk.

    You know what else is poignant? Porcupines. Or zombie baby seals.

    (Gorgeous poem, by the way. All joking aside, it made me see rabbits in a rather different way. The mark of a great poet is his or her ability to make prolific animals poignant, and that, my dear, you have done.)

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