America Put at Risk of Imminent Collapse Due to Nipple Nudity … Again.

Well, damn.  Just when you think America might — just might — be able to rise from the near total collapse of its economy, along comes the one event that’s guaranteed to slap down even a mighty superpower.

I refer, of course, to the recent horrifying, nanosecond-long, public broadcast of sheer, rampant, uninhibited, nipple nudity.

Nothing else could be so devasting to the American way of life.  Trust me on that.

It happened at the Oscars.  While millions of Americans watched, no doubt in horror, Beyonce’s costume slipped, momentarily exposing well over a full quarter of her nipple.  *Le Gasp!*, as the French would say.

The entire generation of young people who were watching the Oscar’s will now most certainly grow up to become sexual perverts, tragically exposed to nipple nudity at too young an age.

Photos at the Huffington Post.

I hope to live to see the day when the mere exposure of a nipple is no longer deemed newsworthy.

9 thoughts on “America Put at Risk of Imminent Collapse Due to Nipple Nudity … Again.

  1. Huh? I sure missed that.

    I seriously doubt that, without huge-screen HDTVs, anybody (with the possible exception of Hugh Jackman) would even have noticed it.

    – M. \”/

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  2. @ Meowlin: Think of the implications, though! This is just like Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction at the SuperBowl — and we all know what came afterwards … Katrina!

    @ Pboyfloyd: LOL Good one!

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  3. Thankfully, I missed the Oscars and was spared the trauma of the possibility of seeing Beyonce’s nipple. I’m looking forward to the day when nipples are legalized in America. Then, who will watch the Oscars?

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  4. Oh, the shame, the shame!

    The fact that this tiny, almost imperceptible exposure was found and became a news item indicates that the Oscars must have been profoundly boring again.

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  5. @ Rick: You might be right! Legalizing naked nipples could lead to the collapse of the Oscar industry. Quick! Somebody pass a bail-out bill!

    @ The Chaplain: I’ve been wondering how many hours were spent searching through the footage for her nipple. We Americans really do have too much time on our hands.

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  6. DANG!! That is only 1/4 of her nipple!

    She’s got some huge ass nipples then!

    All I can tell you is nipples are REALLY really bad for children.Except when they are sucking on them for 14 months and call them “boobies”.

    Other than that..its definately a sexual sin.

    Love

    Dallas

    Like

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