I Am Inconsolable

I have been sobbing for hours. Last night, I was engaged in a romantic moment with my Acme Latex Love Doll when I was abruptly blown across the room, against the wall, and to the floor.

At first, I thought she’d had her first orgasim, for I’ve heard that with some women the contractions can be quite forceful. I checked myself out and found I was unscathed, except that her boobie tassels were shallowly embedded in my chest. I stumbled back to our bed, and that’s when I saw to my shock and horror that my Acme Latex Love Doll had distintegrated into more than a hundred lifeless pieces.

For perhaps an hour, I sat stunned on the bed fruitlessly trying to match her pieces back together again. It was beyond all hope, but in my shock, I could do nothing else. Then my memory began returning to me. Finally, I grasped the events which had occured immediately prior to her fatal explosion. I cannot…I will never be able to…adequately describe the emotions that surged within me when I realized my Acme Latex Love Doll had been done in by an all too passionate love bite, which I myself had inflicted on her! She had trusted me! And I had returned her trust by murdering her.

I was filled with self-loathing, remorse and guilt. I don’t know how long I sat there numb with the realization that I had killed my lover, but eventually I came to my senses and realized that I must turn myself in. So, I called 911. In tears, I confessed the whole thing to the operator. I held back no detail, even though I knew I was convicting myself of homicide. I begged the operator to send the police to arrest me.

That was hours ago, and the police still haven’t shown up. (Does anyone care about homicide in this town?) Yet, I expect to hear their sirens and screeching tires at any moment. I have not tried to clean up my beloved’s remains. I want to do nothing to disturb the evidence of my crime. What future do I have without her, anyway?

(April Fools! 😀 )

9 thoughts on “I Am Inconsolable

  1. That’s a constant hazard with inflatables. I recommend you upgrade to cyberskin, or at least rubber/plastic foam, with cyberskin orifices. Of course that would require a notable investment: not only monetary, but also in storage space.

    Still, there’s a wide range of prices/materials available. One needn’t go to the top of the line (RealDolls and such) for one’s “Sue Rogate.”

    But if price is no object, there are some amazing things being done. Too many good sites to post links to them all – just google “realistic female robot japan” and take your choice(s). I’m sure they’ll have a “pillow companion” model available soon.

    – M. \”(0?)

    Like

  2. Perhaps you should go to the police station and turn yourself in, as it seems to be the case that the police can’t find your house.

    Like

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