I Shall Denounce Him to the World!

A young online friend — that is, a beautiful, attractive lady from Lebanon — has just recently called me “handsome”!

She saw the self-portrait I posted earlier on this blog, and then she wrote to me that I am “handsome”!


Now, I do not know what she herself looks like. I have never seen a photo, never read a description of her.  But I call her “beautiful and attractive” because that is precisely how her personality strikes me online. As of today, she also strikes me as having excellent taste in aesthetics.

Some men, of course, would allow such a flattering opinion from a beautiful and attractive young lady to inflate their egos.  I assure you — I am not such a man.

Yes, it is true I am currently coping with an aching back because I have been sitting at my computer with my chest unusually thrown out and my gut unusually sucked in ever since reading my lady’s remark that I am “handsome”.  But it is merely coincidental that I assumed an unusual posture at about the same moment as I read her word, “handsome”.  It is not at all an indication that I have allowed my ego to be inflated by such a meaningless word coming from an absolute angel of the net.

No, it might offend you, but it must be said that a man of my age and sophistication is simply not overly impressed with the opinions of young ladies.  Indeed, a man of my age and sophistication is almost certain to be totally immune to flattery from anyone, let alone from a young lady who’s aesthetic taste is probably not yet fully developed.

I confess I do not know where you get the impression that men of my age and sophistication can ever be silly drooling buffoons.  Really! I am becoming impatient with you!  With how you are looking at me!  Or, rather with how you are not looking at me!   With how you are looking away!  Please show me who has given you such an impression — show me the fool who is responsible for giving men my age a bad reputation — and I shall denounce him to the world!

36 thoughts on “I Shall Denounce Him to the World!”

  1. If only I knew what I know now when I was young enough to have used it to my advantage and not my detriment. Come to think of it, I should be doing it more with it right now. What does my charisma get me, Paul? Just askin’?


  2. Paul, not to interrupt you two, but if I called you handsome, you’d be slightly less enthusiastic. 😆

    And Sandra, remember who introduced you both. Just sayin’.


  3. Sandra #3: “What does my charisma get me, Paul? Just askin’?”

    You mean, what does it get you besides my fawning admiration and devotion?

    Well, Sandra, unless you intend to become the pastor of a mega-church, a job that always seems to come complete with your very own drug addicted prostitute on the sideline, I’m not at all sure what your charisma is worth these days. I myself have none, so it’s never occurred to me to check it out.


  4. My celibacy is not a vow that I must obey forever, Sandra. I am not a priest. It’s just a persistent feeling of what’s best for me. But if I met the right person — you or someone else — I think that could change quickly.

    I agree though that you and I might have some great conversations, too.


  5. There’s something … what? … enticing? … compelling? … terrifying? … in the thought of a man shaking off the mantle of celibacy after FIFTEEN BLOODY YEARS! Yikes …

    And, yes, we might. In fact, we already do … conversations I’m talkin’ here, of course.


  6. It would certainly be worth it for the right person.

    You’ve spoken of your friend who says celibacy has some spiritual value. I’ve heard much the same from others. Yet, I’ve always been an agnostic at best about that.

    I have thought maybe celibacy made somethings easier. Such as made easier looking at the world like one who has lived a long time alone. Or perhaps made easier loving people for themselves. But I have never been convinced it was absolutely necessary.

    And you are right…our conversations have been great. You are quite the stimulating company — even over the net.


  7. She has never attributed any spiritual benefits to her celibacy. She’s all about the ease of living without a man around to annoy her. Although your gender does have a high annoyance quotient … speaking in general, you see, although specifically as well, come to think of it … there are trade offs that I apparently deal with better than she.

    Yes … it’s been good to meet you, and I enjoy our ‘conversations’.


  8. Ah! Then I tend to agree with both of you in so far as I think living with a partner can be annoying.

    But I disagree with her in one respect: I recall from years ago that the annoyance caused by a partner can, given the right partner, pale in comparison to the pleasures of totally cherishing another person.


  9. You really must link to this self-portrait for the benefit of the jaded and curious.

    And having encountered you at Man of Roma’s, didn’t I also just bumble across your gravatar at Marty Klein’s blog?

    Small world!


  10. Hi Sledpress! Welcome to the blog!

    Small world,yes. I was indeed over at Marty’s blog yesterday, and, of course, I posted a response to a comment of yours at MoR’s blog. I wonder what the odds are?

    Here’s a link to the self-portrait that you asked for. I don’t know if an enthusiastic “Enjoy!” works in this case. I’ve been told that my portrait has already sent at least one infant into fits of sobbing.


  11. Perhaps it’s that lurid crimson glow in the background, suggesting (in a phrase I lift brazenly from Robertson Davies) “a devil hot from hell.” The infant feared it might be snatched to the nether realms for some cradle infraction or other.

    I’ve been a fan of Marty Klein ever since he deconstructed Oprah and Dr. Phil (which latter wretch is always on the television over the squat rack when I’m in the gym at midday).


  12. The more you think your ego looks good the bigger it gets and the better you think it looks so the bigger it gets. You are locked a a vicious circle of positive feedback that will eventually result in your ego encompassing the entire universe :p


  13. I look at men and women my age and am horrified at how old they look. That’s all I think about: that I look younger than most of them, but far. But then I think I’m deluding myself, espedially when I find myself yocking it up with the oldsters. Still, I can’t possibly be that old. Forget about handsome or beautiful. Cool dresser. That’ about it.


  14. Squirrel #30:

    Strange how rapidly some of our contemporaries have aged! I don’t know how old you are, Squirrel, but I gather you and I have had the same experience of looking younger than our cohort.


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