A while back, I got into a discussion with a few folks on the topic of why some men are sexually interested in lesbians. I’ve been thinking about that discussion this morning, and how surprised I was by many of the comments. It turned out that several men said they were not only interested in lesbians, but that they were especially interested in lesbians. That is, lesbians were a fetish of theirs.
That befuddled me. It probably should not have befuddled me, but it did.
I’ve seen the internet porn ads for men who want to view “lesbians” having sex. So, perhaps I should have known a lot of men are sexually interested in lesbians.
But until the discussion, I didn’t realize those men — at least a goodly number of those men — must actually be sexually interested in real lesbians. What relatively little lesbian porn I’ve paid attention to has seemed fake to me. Hence, I have naively assumed that most men are not genuinely interested in real lesbians, but rather in fakes.
Of course, during the discussion, some people didn’t quite understand the question and volunteered such statements as, “The men think the lesbians are secretly bi.” But that response at most suggests that some men are sexually interested in bi-sexual women, rather than sexually interested in lesbians.
So, why are some men sexually interested in lesbians? I recall the reasons given included, “Forbidden fruit is the most delicious of all.” “Some men see sex with a lesbian as the unattainable conquest.” And, “Getting a lesbian into bed is the ultimate trophy.”
I’m sure those three reasons apply to some of the men who find themselves sexually attracted to lesbians. I wouldn’t say they apply to all. Human motives can be as numerous as there are people.
The thing I don’t understand about those three reasons — or about any reason I’ve heard for why some men are sexually attracted to lesbians — is how such reasons can overcome having sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you?
For instance: Even if I felt that “forbidden fruit is the most delicious of all”, I’m pretty sure I would be put off by an unresponsive partner — no matter how “forbidden” she was.
Before we go on, though, I’d like to make clear that this is all about sexual attraction. That is, in my experience, there are some extremely attractive lesbians in this world, but they are extremely attractive as people, and not as sex partners.
At any rate, so far as I’m concerned, the world’s foremost anti-aphrodisiac is — not taxes, although taxes are a close second — but an unresponsive woman who lacks any sexual interest in me. Like many people, I’ve had the occasional misfortune of discovering that I was not a suitable partner for someone only after getting into bed with them.
Perhaps until that moment, both of us are dreaming of a passionate night together. But something clicks — or maybe it’s that something does not click — once we actually get going on it. And, just as soon as it has become evident to me that she is not at all into it — I’ve typically felt my desire drain away. It doesn’t even take an act of will on my part: I involuntarily lose interest. And quickly.
Back when I was sexually active, there weren’t that many things that could turn me off. But an unresponsive woman could.
So, the only lesbian I can imagine being sexually attracted to would be a lesbian who was sexually responsive to me. But such a lesbian is pretty much by definition bi-sexual, isn’t she? And therefore, she is not a lesbian, but a bi-sexual. Or am I confused here? Can a lesbian get into having sex with a man? Really get into it?
At any rate, I’ve come up with a notion of why some men might be sexually interested in lesbians even if the woman is not at all sexually interested in them. But my idea is not based on anything said during the discussion. Instead, it came to me as I was thinking about all of this just now, and as I got to recalling what it was like to be 18.
Back then, I could easily get passionately turned on by an overly suggestive wood knot, let alone a breathing woman. And, frankly, I was willing to have sex with anyone who would let me — regardless of whether or not they were genuinely enthusiastic about it. I think I must have been blinded by hormones, and I can imagine that some men, similarly blinded, might be attracted to lesbians even if the lesbians are not sexually interested in them.
It’s getting towards dawn. I have foolishly allowed myself to stay awake all night, and now I am beginning to feel it. Hence, I’m not sure whether much of what I’ve said in this post makes sense, and I apologize for any missing words, poorly constructed sentences, vulgar references to flatulence, or shameful solicitations for money. It’s time to turn it over to you.
So what do you think? Why are some men sexually interested in lesbians?
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