“Well, the God of the Fundamentalists might be everything Richard Dawkins says He is, but I’ll tell you this: He’s also a damn good drinking buddy.”

“You can tell him anything — even tell him about the time you stuck a feather-duster up your butt and danced around naked crowing like a rooster — and God will never tell anyone — anyone — what you told him.  He’s that good of a drinking buddy.  That good!”

“And all you guys can do is whine about how he sentences people to hell.  Well, listen to me! If you were God and had to listen to some drunk go on and on and on about the time he stuck a feather-duster up his butt, then danced around naked crowing like a rooster, just as if that was the high point of his life, wouldn’t you want to send that sorry idiot to hell, too?  Well, wouldn’t you?”