Humor

The Truth About Cats

Sunstone: “Hi Sakeenah! Good to see you in the chat room again, but please be quiet. Be very quiet.”

Sakeenah: “Hi Sunstone! What are you doing?”

Sunstone: “I’m hiding.”

Sakeenah: “What are you hiding from?”

Sunstone: “I just saw a cat in my neighborhood. So I’m hiding.”

Sakeenah: “You’re hiding from a cat?”

Sunstone: “Sakeenah, cats are vicious, vicious animals!”

Sakeenah: “No they’re not. They cute! And they purr.”

Sunstone: ” I can prove to you they’re vicious!”

Sakeenah: “How can you prove that?”

Sunstone: “Sakeenah, just how often in your life have you heard someone say they were randomly attacked by a cat while walking down the street?”

Sakeenah: “Never! No one ever says that!”

Sunstone: “You know why? It’s because when cats randomly attack someone, they always eat the witnesses!”

Sakeenah: “I think I will pray for you, Sunstone. Often, now.”

12 thoughts on “The Truth About Cats”

  1. I can attest that I randomly attacked Paul while he was walking down the street. Regrets? That I didn’t bite harder!

    1. Granted, Quinn. Cats are indeed cute! But “cute” is how they lure you in close for the kill. In my experience, it’s been both prudent and wise to have kept that in mind.

      1. Ah hah! Naturally, I suspected as much! I was only just now thinking, “That Quinn, she’s kind, but she’s too kind! She’s smart, but she’s too smart! And she’s got a blog just as addictive as crack cocaine! Why would she have that, if everything with her is on the up and up? The Irish Home Office must be informed of this! I shall epistle them at once!”

  2. I think I shall pray for you too. Really though, besmirching the name of the cat species. What have the little fur balls ever done to you? I mean, they’ve clearly never attacked you, since you’re uneaten and all.

      1. But of course! It’s not like she realised your petting her is indeed a farce. Nope, she didn’t notice that you were secretly launching a sneak attack, lulling her into a false sense of security by petting her. She didn’t sniff out your covert operation, not at all. She just decided to pet you back, like you were her.

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