Experiencing God the American Way

(About a 4 minute read)

From:  Paul Sunstone
Subject:  What’s up?
To:  Christine Andrews
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2017 10:07:41 -0600

Hey Chris!

How’s it going?  I’ve been thinking of you and wondering what you’ve been up to?  Are you still the insufferably brilliant businessperson that you were here in Colorado, or has California change you?  😀

I’m doing fine.  Actually, I’m pretty happy these days.  I’ve been tutoring a young university student from Australia via the internet.  She’s an enthusiastic learner, which keeps me motivated.    Mom turned 99 this year.  Can you believe it!

It’s been ages, Chris.  Eight or nine years by my count without a word between us.  Why’d we let that happen?   I miss our trips to the hot springs.  I hope all is well with you!  Please drop me a note to let me know how you’re doing when you get a chance.


From: Christine Andrews
Subject: re: What’s up?
To: Paul Sunstone
Date: Tue, 4 Jul 2017 16:14:22 -0700

Paul! Gold to hear from you!

What have I’ve been up to?  Great things! Paul, I’m excited, really excited!  Here’s the nutshell. First, I’m out of the turnaround industry.  Totally.  I formed a new company awhile back, and we’ve been working our butts night and day on a franchisable “spiritual system”.   Huge potential!  Certain to capture up to 80% of the rapidly growing market for salvation and enlightenment!  Screw capital acquisitions, I’m finished with that crap, money’s in religion. I just closed the alpha tests and I got to say I’m very pleased with the results.

We’re positioning to be very competitive.  Churches, temples, mosques, they’ll be history.  Had their chance for 1000s of years and blew it fighting religious wars.  The first dozen franchises are all opening their doors between November and mid-December, Paul, just in time for the Holidays.

I’m absolutely confident customers will flock to purchase our God experience.  We’re rolling out no less than the most competitively priced, the most reliable, and above all else, the fastest  (no annoying waits!)  God experience on the market!  And totally drug-free.  That’s key to capturing the health segment.

We are going to steamroll the competition.  I actually feel a little sorry for them.  But not too sorry.  Research shows the big complaint, the number one complaint the market has with our competitors services are their long long wait times.  Typically years, decades, even lifetimes between order placement and fulfillment.  And that’s If our competitors deliver at all.  Paul, you would NOT believe how lax their fulfillment controls are.  We are poised to kick ass!

But you know what?  Looked at financially, the REAL secret’s in the spiritual mix. Tests prove there’s no difference in what the market will pay for a 100% God experience and a 70% God experience.  So we’re rolling out the 70% experience at the 100% price point, and pocketing the difference.  Breakeven is a mere six to nine months, and return on investment is conservatively projected to be astronomical!

But enough about me.  So, Paul, what have you been doing? Still painting?  I love your portraits, man!

From: Paul Sunstone
Subject: re: re: What’s up?
To: Christine Andrews
Date: Tue, 8 Jul 2017  04:15:17-0300

It’s so good to hear you’re doing well!   I’m stunned by what you’re up to.  It sounds BIG!  I’ve got a thousand questions, but I know you must be pressed for time, so I won’t ask all of them.  If you get a moment though, please let me know how you got into the God business. How did you come up with the idea for it? I just got to know!

Hope all is well with you!

From: Christine Andrews
Subject: re: re: re: What’s up?
To: Paul Sunstone
Date: Sun, 13 Aug 2017  22:28:18 +0000

Sorry about not getting back to you sooner.  Been working 18 hour days, but no complaints about it. I love the work.  It’s all coming together faster every day.  We’re going make this happen, Paul.  Me and my team.

So here’s my story.  I hope it answers your question.  I was lonely after my move to Cali.  Met a man and we become friends with benefits.  He introduces me to his spiritual group.  They’re the first people I meet out here, so I spend a lot of time with them.  But the more time we spend talking about God, enlightenment, nirvana, salvation, and other things, the more I feel something nagging at me.  Nagging and nagging, only I don’t know what it’s trying to tell me.

One evening Jessica, my new best friend, and I are in a restaurant, just the two of us.  She confesses she’s leaving the group.  I ask why.  She says, and I remember her words, “Look at me! I just turned 32 last month.  I don’t have forever to find God and it’s like it totally will take forever.  I’ve made my decision.  I’m dropping religion and taking up CrossFit.  I want you to come with me.”

Right then, Paul, it came together in a flash.  All of it.  Everything I ever knew or ever heard about religion instantly rearranged itself in my head until I could see clear as day everything! Everything important about religion at once.  The market. The service. The competition.  The challenge.  And most important of all the Opportunity!

Cut to the chase.  I’ve written the plan, raised the capital, put together the very  best team of R&D neuroscientists ever to work in private industry.  For awhile it’s all dead ends. We lose some people.  But I myself never lost faith.  That paid off when the break through came!   Simply the easiest, safest, most reliable means to enlightenment ever devised, Paul.  And most of all, the quickest!

You know Paul, this all really means something to me. It really does.  But I don’t know,  did I ever tell you?  I’ve always had a spiritual side.  Never wore it on my sleeve, so maybe you never noticed it. Most people don’t.  I’ve been told all sorts of things about myself, but never has anyone talked much about my spirituality.  I’m not complaining, just saying that’s how it is.

This is going big, Paul.  What I’m doing is going to go big.  First North America, then India, then the world.  The Indian market alone is estimated to be worth a trillion dollars over the next decade.  I feel good about it.  Hell, I feel excellent.  For me, making all this happen is a spiritual experience.  A true spiritual experience. Probably the biggest spiritual experience of my life.  Even bigger than the God experience itself.  Even bigger than that.  Do you get me, Paul, I’m right on the verge of realizing the American Dream!

3 thoughts on “Experiencing God the American Way”

  1. Holy s—!

    Yes, glad to see that our founding fathers created this vibrant entrepreneurial society. I’ve got the tune of God Bless America running through my head after reading this. And i just can’t make it stop!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well’ Paul. the Americans did invent the pet rock craze, and that worked out well, so I’m figuring why not go really BIG? Think of the spin-off potential – Spiritual Barbie, De-Cluttering Your Spiritual Life and Finding Joy tomes. Pantone’s Spiritual Colour of the Year – the possibilities are endless! G

    Liked by 2 people

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