PROSELYTIZER: Hi! Just dropping by your cottage this morning to ask if you’ve found Jesus?
SUNSTONE I’m so sorry. I can’t talk now. I’m mourning a recent death in my family. Pets are family, aren’t they? (Wipes his eyes)
PROSELYTIZER: That’s terrible! I feel so bad for you. My beloved dog passed away last fall, and she too was just like family to me! She was with us for fourteen years. Yes, I know how you must feel. I’ll leave you to mourn in peace now.
SUNSTONE: Please! Can I ask you to pray with me for my pet?
PROSELYTIZER: Well, dogs don’t have souls that I know of….
SUNSTONE: But she was so good! And she never hurt anyone!
SUNSTONE: Please! You must know a suitable prayer. Just a brief one!
PROSELYTIZER: I suppose the Good Lord won’t take offense this one time. It is your hour of need, after all. What was the name of your dog?
SUNSTONE: Not a dog. An ant. I have an ant farm and I don’t name them.
PROSELYTIZER: I have to leave now. Like, right now!