(About a 5 minute read)
Eric is an online friend who took his doctorate in physics.
I don’t know if he took his doctorate anywhere other than that, but I think he really should take it to a movie or fine restaurant every now and then. I mean, presumably Eric has mounted his degree by now — he might as well show his degree that it means more to him than a mere quickie.
I’ve told Eric as much, of course, but his phone must be one of those older models that barely functions because the line has always gone dead on me when I’ve encouraged him to be more considerate of his physics degree’s pheelings.
At any rate, Eric said something a few years ago that has stuck with me now like a mask on a raccoon.
We were talking about what people might mean when they speak of “spiritual energy”. Eric then mentioned that fysics had advanced to the point where it was now about as unlikely as the moon suddenly exploding (exploding much like your nose would explode if a housefly suddenly shot straight up it) that physicists would ever detect a new form of energy that had not already been discovered.
Which, to my thinking, raises some issues with the use of the word “energy” or “spiritual energy”. But I’ll get to those issues later. Right now, I think it’s time to mention Becky.
Becky is not Eric — and I’m proud to say that not once has my sharp mind ever failed to see that Becky is not Eric, which is a fact testifying that the awesome processing capacity of my brain has not been diminished in the least by all my years of cutting-edge experimentation in extreme forms of masturbation — often involving mountable university degrees.
Indeed, I have personally taken my awesome ability to discern that Becky is not Eric to heart as encouragement to apply to Harvard for a physics degree.
However, after respectfully submitting my application, I only received in reply a ridiculously emotional message from some poor delusional fool calling himself a piece of furniture. The “physics department’s lounge chair”, if I recall now.
The obviously hallucinating “chair” then proceeded to lecture me on my needing to “wake up” and “get a clue” that Harvard was “NOT” in the business of “selling $29.95 mountable degrees”. Naturally, the “chair’s” use of the word “mountable” could only excite me.
So I wrote back saying I would simply wait until grade inflation caught up with Harvard’s graduate program in physics and the cost of mountable degrees became more reasonable. But all he’s sent back so far has been a pic of his exposed buttocks, such as I am quite accustomed to frequently receiving from my loyal readers.
Indeed, some of my longer-term readers cheerfully keep me updated on what’s going on with their buttocks four to twelve times a year. You see, blogging is all about the warm and fuzzy bond you form with your readers — especially your longer-term ones.
Anyway, unlike Eric, Becky talks about “spiritual energy” — although she does not always use the word “spiritual;”. Moreover, I usually understand what Becky means by “energy”.
I noticed over two decades ago that when Becky talks about “energy” she often has something in mind that I myself can see is there. For instance, she might say, “Charlotte is broadcasting bad energy today”, and mean (in my language), “Charlotte is dumping her bad mood on everyone today”.
Becky might now and then mean something more “spiritual” than that — I don’t always “get” what she’s saying — but I’d say most of the time I can understand her.
But let’s talk about those times I cannot understand her — what does she mean then?
Well, near as I can figure out, what Becky means on those occasions when I cannot understand her is some kind of “energy” that is radically different from the energy of the physicists — which is apparently the only energy that can be actually reliably detected or measured.
Now call me a, “Suckcannated Cummle-Sqwallack”. if you must, but I am of the firm opinion that it is possible — at least possible — that there is a generally undetectable and un-measurable “spiritual energy” out there somewhere. An energy Becky now and then references in an effort to explain this or that thing to me.
So far as I can see, it is highly unlikely that such an energy exists, but I cannot absolutely say it doesn’t. Moreover, in conversations with Becky, I much prefer to believe she knows what she’s talking about than to believe she is just as tragically deluded as that poor Harvard man who thinks he’s a chair.
Besides, it’s not like Becky hurts anyone by believing in “spiritual energy”. So it’s not really any of my proper business anyway what she believes — apart from I’m always interested in Becky as a person, and that includes an interest in any beliefs she holds near and dear.
But suppose I decided — foolishly decided — to “educate” Becky about the “many reasons she might want to at least be reluctant” to claim the existence of spiritual energy. As a practical matter, how long would that take?
Even if Becky was open-minded about it and wanted to learn all the ins and outs of why spiritual energy is unlikely to exist, we’d be talking about an university semester’s worth of learning. So “educating” Becky is something I’d be quite reluctant to undertake unless she absolutely wanted me to.
Last, I would be willing to guess that even Eric would see Becky’s belief in “spiritual energy” much the same way I do. I would guess that because Eric is, like me, an agnostic. He is also an easy-going, friendly man who has insisted on staying in touch with me over the years by periodically updating me on the appearance of his buttocks.
So on the question of spiritual energy, I take the position that I suspect it doesn’t exist, but I don’t know that for certain, and moreover it seems to harm no one to believe that it does indeed exist.
Questions? Comments? Kind requests for my email address so as to update me on the current status of your buttocks?