TERESUMS: Hello? If that’s you again, Paul, shove it! Shove it right now!
PAUL: Hello there, Sweetness! Have you cum today? I’ll bet you’ve been routing around down there all morning like an excited monkey in a banana market. Well, have at her, Teresums — the gods know yours are not seeing any other action these days.
TERESUMS: Have I cum yet? What’s up, Paul? Is this your depraved idea of small talk? You’re trying to charm me, aren’t you? For once, you are really trying to charm me, you insufferable donk!
PAUL: That’s what I get? After all the hours I lay awake last night mulling over your words to me about “becoming a better man” — that’s what I get?
TERESUMS: Now you’ve made me sorry, Paul. I should not have gone off on you. I should support your efforts. It’s really noble of you, Paul. Noble and admirable.
PAUL: Bless you, Teresums! Bless you for having faith in me. Just don’t hide anything. Sharp focus on the pics. I want close-ups of your tits and ass. You can leave the face out. Might frighten me while I’m wanking, you know.
TERESUMS: PAUL! You flying scourge! You’ve been trying to sweet-talk me into emailing you nude selfies all along. You…you…you are the most lowest, treasonous piece of weaponized evil ever to crawl out of one of my nightmares. Ever!
PAUL: I’m glad we had this warm and frank discussion. I feel much closer to you now. Can’t wait to get the pics. Why don’t you run off right away and take them for me. Take a dozen or more. At least a dozen or more. No faces, though, or its death by tomorrow’s dawn!
TERESUMS: Paul, I am so going to…Paul? PAUL! You hung up, you twikle-squirt! Well, you can dream all you want, Paul Sunstone. You can dream until the gods turn into clay pots, but I will never — never even so much as photoshop my face onto a porn star’s body for you. Oh! How I wish you could hear that! I must remember to tell it to you the blissful day I finally cream your spinach.