Humor, People, Teresums

“Do Virgins Prefer Male Strippers or Vibrators?”

TERESUMS: Hello?

PAUL: Out with it! Do virgins lust for cock more than vibrators, or vibrators more than cock?

TERESUMS:  Is this your idea of a pleasant conversation,  Paul?

PAUL: I’ve got to know.  I’ve got to know whether to get my new girlfriend’s mom a stripping male telegram or a dildo.  Die immediately or divulge the truth!

TERESUMS:  Your friend’s mom is a virgin? Paul, that makes no sense.

PAUL: She’s divorced. Hasn’t had her nookie accessorized in decades.  I figure it’s reverted to pristine virginity by now.

TERESUMS: You can’t get her a male telegram, Paul. That’s prostitution.  It’s illegal in America everywhere outside of Nevada and Washington, D.C.

PAUL: You’re wrong about that.  Dead wrong.  It’s not prostitution, it’s freedom of speech — speech delivered by ejaculation.  I looked it up, “To ejaculate” means “to exclaim” means “to speak”.  The Constitution guarantees the right to ejaculate all you want and even in public. Just try to prove me wrong!

TERESUMS: Paul, you’re as crazy as a moon rocket gone wrong and hellbent on taking a bath in the Mariana’s Trench.

PAUL: And just what’s wrong with my way of telling my girlfriend’s mother I’d do her too, if it wouldn’t be awkward?

TERESUMS: What?  That’s what you’re trying to tell her?   That she’s a piece of meat to you?

PAUL: She’ll be flattered someone still wants to lick her launch button, despite her being a virgin, you know.

TERESUMS: Unlikely!

PAUL: Likely!

TERESUMS: Unlikely!

PAUL: Likey!

TERESUMS: Goodbye, Paul.

7 thoughts on ““Do Virgins Prefer Male Strippers or Vibrators?””

    1. I was shocked, shocked to follow your link to such a disreputable site! Not only does the denizen fancy himself a thinker, but he appears to self-identify with poets — a class of people know to decent folks for their low morals and high opinions of themselves. You simply cannot trust them, Jane, they are to a man or woman unable to formulate a decent epistemology! Shocked!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t want to fall out with you over this, Paul, but I know your game. On closer inspection I discovered the author of that blog to be an intelligent, generous man – unlike some I could mention. He’s taken a look at my poems and offered me a great deal more than a tenner for them. Since our deal hasn’t gone through yet, I suggest you come up with a more realistic offer. And don’t even think of trying to talk him out of it – he won’t negotiate with you.

        Like

      2. Damn it, Jane! This is alarming news. I want those poems for myself. I don’t care what he bids, I’ll top him by at least ten grand US. I just know I’m far and away too smart for him. We’ll see who wins this bidding in the end. We’ll just see!

        Like

    2. Teresums is quite simply the finest harbor slut in all of Sydney, Australia, Jane. If you’ll glance at my sidebar, you’ll see she also does a bit of light editing for me here.

      Seriously, she is a wonderful young lady! Quite a wit, but quite shy too. She’s a university student, 21 years old, and among the gentlest souls on the planet.

      She and I have known each other for about two years now and she is determined to come visit me someday. I adore her, and hope to someday stay on speaking terms with her for more than three days at a time. No luck with that yet, though. Something to do with the quality of the phone connections between here and Oz, I believe.

      Real name “Terese”.

      Liked by 1 person

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