About This Blog, Abuse, People, Spirituality, Terese, Teresums

Meet the Finest Harbor Slut in Sydney, Australia!

(Teresums bio about a 4 minute read)

TERESUMS: Hello?

PAUL: Drop your panties, peacock! Heads up! I’m fixing to post all about you at last — a comprehensive insider’s exposé of your sordid lust for sailors, your scandalous personal hygiene, your filthy eating habits, your hankering after strange gods, and your recurring attempts to assassinate my noble character! Even though it will absolutely finish your reputation with my flesh-eating readers, you’ll never muster the self-discipline to stop yourself from wanking to it, you demon blown ego-balloon!

TERESUMS: Ever the charmer with the small talk and pleasantries, eh Paul?  Maybe you might want to stick a garden hose up your butt for an enema now — just to get better quality material for your post, your know.

PAUL: Hah! I knew it. Denial.  Your only possible refuge from the truth.

TERESUMS: Paul, the day you become interested in the truth is the day you become interested in someone else besides yourself, and the same day Vice-President Pence comes out of the homosexual closet.

PAUL: Did I mention I’m going to reveal all about the lovely evening you broke the weaponized version of the Chinese made Lucky Dragon’s Tongue dildo by attempting to plunge it into your virgin-clenched hoo-haw?  My flesh eaters will be shocked beyond the help of currently available PTSD recovery technologies, pity their tiny souls.

TERESUMS: You delusional bat-infested donk, your readers will only rally to my side.  They’re fair-minded decent folk who only read your posts in anticipation of the blessed day you implode into a pixel.

PAUL: The flesh-eaters read my posts to momentarily slake their twisted lusts to hear ever more exotic and outrageous truths about the underlying realities of this world. I have to incessantly shovel it daily into their cages, I should know.

TERESUMS: Let me remind you, Paul, my only reason for remaining your friend longer than the six full minutes it typically requires you to pass the huge volume of intestinal gas that substitutes for a soul in you is in order to warn innocent people away from you before you can rip out their hopes for humanity and darken their poor lives forever more.

PAUL: I’m glad we could have this warm and passionate discussion.  I feel it’s contributed positively to global warming.

TERESUMS: Goodbye, Paul. Sweet dreams of all the fascinating women who will never bed you, and who you’ll no doubt attempt to violate their corpses some day.


 

The admittedly lovely Teresums and I first met about two years ago in a chat room we both frequent.  I don’t recall now what initially interested me in her, but it could have easily been her confession that in idle moments she uses lipstick to write messages on her forehead intended to solicit sailors in Sydney, Australia.  I have long had an interest in point-of-purchase advertising, and it’s ability to motivate people to spontaneously buy products and services — although in her case, it probably motivated ships to put to sea.

But whatever first interested me in the young lass, I quickly develop staunch feelings of disgust for her personal hygiene of fondness for her. She impressed me almost from the start as a remarkable spirit.

I think the first thing most people might notice about her is that she’s rather shy and therefore rather unnoticeable.  But if you can draw her out you’ll regret having done it for the rest of your days. you’ll soon discover her remarkable wit.

With me, her wit often takes the form of the artful put-down, but she has a much broader repertoire than that. She seldom indulges in clichés, but is instead an original and creative jokes -meister.

Beyond her wit, Teresums is one of the kindest, gentlest, and most loving people to be around that anyone could hope to meet.  She shows interest in everyone.  She also has a genuinely insatiable curiosity about nearly any topic you can find to feed her.

Initially, I tutored her in her university courses, but that became less and less my duty as she herself developed stronger time management and study skills.  Now she has in a way turned the page by becoming my editorial assistant on Café Philos, responsible for such light editing chores as timing the posts.

Teresums grew up an atheist, but a few years ago converted to Hinduism.  She studies it assiduously, and now has a detailed knowledge of her own branch of it.  She has an other worldly quality to her. It’s as if the madnesses, troubles, and depravities of this world are powerless to affect her.  She rises above them all, almost as gracefully as a Buddha.

While I don’t normally like to compare people, I honestly believe Teresums is in many ways a superior person to me — something she herself would modestly deny.  For example: I believe myself an exceptionally honest person, but she strikes as even more so. The same goes for compassion, kindness, curiosity, generosity, gentleness, and even in some ways strength.

Many of us routinely assume shy, kind spirits like her are weaker than us, but make no mistakes about Teresums.  She is in psychological, emotional, and spiritual ways the equal to an ox in an ox’s physical strength.

I’m sure I won’t offend or embarrass her if I illustrate her strength by revealing here a sad fact of her life.  Her mother and father are moderately abusive of her.

Mainly their abuse comes in the insidious form of sustained neglect.  They behave as if they don’t care for her much at all.  I sometimes wonder if that’s not because she’s a girl, and their ethnic background — Turkish — devalues girls.  But whatever the cause, the abuse itself is unnecessary and more than a little problematic.

For instance, Teresums for reasons I can’t figure out has been allowed to attend university, but she came to the experience with appalling academic skills.  She had never growing up learned so much as a decent student work ethic, a telling fact owing to her parent’s indifference all during her formative years regarding her performance in school.

Beyond that, there is a moderate amount of physical abuse.

Both her parents behave like spoiled brats.  They seem to have little or no self-discipline over their emotions, and indulge in frequent dramas over acutely petty things. It strikes me as ironic that Teresums is in every noticeable way more mature than her father and mother.

Here’s the thing: Teresums rises about it all.  All of it.  She is simply untainted by her parents.  She is not an ounce like them. She never starts a fight, never fights dirty, never mistreats anyone.  And her general disposition is one of serenity.

If that’s not the mark of a strength — extraordinary strength — I am clueless what is.

I confess I would adopt the woman at the drop of a sparrow from the sky if only I could.  She is more than my friend, she is practically a niece to me.  And I try to give her the support, guidance, and encouragement she doesn’t get at home.  Would I could give her much more than that.

If I had to sum her up in just one word, that would be “loving”. Loving in an all but unconditional manner, and loving of both others and of life itself.

Her real name is Terese.

15 thoughts on “Meet the Finest Harbor Slut in Sydney, Australia!”

    1. Not quite word for word. But Terese is one snarky lass when you get her going. She forces me to strap myself to my chair, least I laugh myself right out of it.

      The main way our conversations differ, besides being much less overtly abusive, is that Terese is usually so much more subtle in her hilarious put downs. Oh, and we also tend to put ourselves down from time to time, too.

      Come to think of it, Sarah, Terese and I interact a whole look like you and I do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I noticed a bigger difference in voices on this post (than I usually noticed, not that you haven’t been doing it this WHOLE TIME). Then when you said she was great at insulting back, that’s what made me wonder if those were her actual insults.
        What, you’d compare me to the divine Terese? That poor sweet child!! She deserves better 😉

        Like

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