Humor, People

“Right On Time to Clean the Cottage, I See”

PAUL: Hi, Evelyn!  Right on time to clean the cottage, I see!

EVELYN: Yup. How are you today, Paul?  I see you’ve been calling that poor woman down under in Australia, again.

PAUL: I’m fine, just doing fine.  How’d you know I just got off the phone with her?

EVELYN: The foam in the corners of your mouth is a dead give-away, Paul.

PAUL:  I can’t help it, Evelyn, I get all excited when I tutor her in the science of life.  I’m a born teacher, Evelyn.  My heart belongs to the kids and to their future.

EVELYN: I believe you! I know for a fact you donated your heart years ago to the Palmer High Science Club.  My daughter was vice-president when it exploded, spraying formaldehyde all over the science lab.

PAUL:  Fascinating!  They only told me about the Hazmat crew being hospitalized when they tried to dispose of it.

EVELYN:  By the way, I saw two Jehovah’s Witnesses stumbling the other way when I came here today.  They both looked pretty pale.  You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?

PAUL: Only that they knocked about a quarter to noon.  Naturally, I invited them in to lunch.  Had plenty of my deep fried mac and cheese today, so I was able to share.  You say they looked sick?  Oh gods, I hope they didn’t infect me with anything.

EVELYN: Personal question, Paul.

PAUL: Yes?

EVELYN: Are you going to put on some clothes now, or do I need to wrap my vacuum’s cord around your neck and jerk it hard, like last month?

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