Humor

Beans

I ate beans for lunch today. I don’t much like beans, and I don’t usually eat them. But Dr. Warwick tells me to eat beans.  He’s an Evangelical Christian, and in all ways, one of the most exemplary Christians I know.

He’s an Evangelical, but even so he’s truly religious. Spends two or three months each year in Honduras providing free medical services to poor folks.  And that’s just the Doc warming himself up for all the good works he does.

Now and then he tells me how much he loves Jesus.  But he’s even more religious about beans. He’s a fanatic for beans.  I think, “Must of read about beans in med school.”

Probably got horny one night, thought he was picking up a Playboy, and tragically picked up a med journal instead.  “Beans! My God, but beans make me horny!”

I see him today. He will ask what I had for lunch. He always asks.

I will tell him “beans”.  I always tell him “beans”.

He’ll be happy then. He won’t waste the ten minutes he would otherwise spend lecturing me to eat more beans.

I ate beans for lunch today.  I don’t much like beans.  But I do enjoy lying.  That I do enjoy.  Every man and woman should practice at least one art in life, at least one form of expressing themselves.  Doc has his, it’s called “medicine”.  I have mine, it’s called  “the crown of all the arts”.

7 thoughts on “Beans”

  1. Let’s see if I remember… driving down memory lane… ‘Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot, the more you toot, the better you feel.’ Yes, now that feels good.

    Liked by 2 people

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