Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Attached Love, Bad Ideas, Emotional Dependency, Intelligence, Relationships, Resilience, Tomoko

My Fateful Tears

(About a 2 minute read)

My second wife was brilliant, the daughter of an award-winning quality control engineer, and she had most — or more than most — of his genius in her own brains.

Her executive father played a key role in his company’s race be the first manufacturer in the world to reach the fabled Sigma 6 level of quality control.

Sigma 6.

One million units created. Less than four defectives.

Second wife relieved boredom by solving calculus problems in her head. I’m a sapio-sexual.  I couldn’t help but get hard about that.  I was a hard man back then.

Second wife made me a hard man back then.

This fool knew she was malicious and abusive when he married her.  Told himself he could change her.

No need to feel sorry for me.  Over enough time, even some fools trade in their tears for laughter and lessons learned.

Once, ex-second wife threatened to cheat in order to get her way with something.

Foolish Fool in his fool’s wisdom decided to beg her not to. Started writing a poem at work.

The poem wouldn’t come.  It had to be dragged out of me, so I took a break. Got a cup of water. Came back, spilled a few drops on the paper.

She was home that night. Stuck the poem inside her purse, inside her schedule book, so she’d be at work the next day when she found it. Didn’t want to risk her glaring at me when she read the poem.  In case she didn’t like it, you see. I never could predict what would explode her dynamite.

The next day, I come home, she’s there, she’s crying.

She launches herself at my chest, begins soaking my shoulder. “Don’t you dare make fun of me! You were crying too yesterday when you wrote it! I saw the stains! I felt your tears!”

As soon as she could the next day, she ditched the meddler.

But I still haven’t figured out the lesson. Three choices, you see.

Is it,

“Sometimes even fake tears lead to great make-up sex?”

Or perhaps,

“Two people can both trip over a single tear?”

Or is it,

“A tear at the wrong time creates nine more down the road?”

8 thoughts on “My Fateful Tears”

    1. Your question got me thinking, “When do I lie?” Nowadays, it doesn’t seem all that often. Offhand, I would guess about 80% to 90% of what I post on my blog about people — including myself — is literally true, Bojana. I wouldn’t be risking perjury charges to say it in a court of law.

      When I lie, it’s almost always to skip the narrative over a complex and possibly confusing set of facts. I try to lie in ways that preserve the essence of the truth, even though they are not the literal truth.

      For example, Tomoko never gave me a reason she was threatening to cheat on me. I made up the bit about her wanting to get her way with something. The way I see it, had I told the literal truth there, it would have at a minimum distracted from the narrative. Near as I can figure out what the real reason was — she just wanted to be mean to me. Tomoko was now and then cruel just for the sport of it. But wow! is that a bummer to read or not? Turns the whole narrative dark.

      Now and then I will lie for other reasons — such as to make sure no one can find my address from my blog. I’ve been stalked by two people in my life — I don’t want anyone here in town who might happen to read my blog getting it into their head to be my third stalker.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know what what you mean and no, it’s not a bummer.
        Threatening to cheat? That’s a good one. You do it or not, unless you want the other person to suffer or see things your way. Let’s give it a proper name – blackmailing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Tomoko certainly wasn’t above blackmail. In this case, I think she most likely just wanted to have some “fun”. Or perhaps, she wanted to check if I was still emotionally dependent on her.

        Bojana, I do not hold Tomoko responsible for her malicious cruelties. She almost certainly was afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is almost always a consequence when found in females of sexual abuse before the age of 13. Tomoko told me of her abuse by an older neighborhood boy. BPD does not respond well to therapy or medications. The brain of someone with BPD has been permanently altered in four distinct regions. Nothing could have made Tomoko whole, not even herself.

        The tragedy, Bojana, is she knew it. She had so often tried to reform herself and failed that she had reached the insightful conclusion there was something wrong with her brain that could not be fixed. We didn’t know what it was at the time, but she (not me at the time — I had hope) realized she was broken. That’s why she refused to have children, although she wanted a daughter.


  1. You’re a really great story teller, whether it be fact or fiction, I somehow always get lost in the scene you paint without giving immense detail to the settings, and it amazes me. Idk, I guess I just really felt both sides in this piece, neither pleasant.

    Liked by 1 person

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