I live along the Front Range of the Rockies, near Cheyenne Mountain, and blog at Cafe Philos.
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All I can say is thank goodness we are not typically as possessive of our friends as we are of our lovers… there’s enough drama in this world as it is without adding friend envy, or whatever it would be called!
“Friend Envy” — very descriptive! I so agree with you, Carla.
By the way, one of the many things I love about you is you speak your mind. You’re diplomatic about it, but you never hold back when you disagree with me. I love that.
Quote: “Why are we typically less possessive of our friends than of our lovers, when we so often claim to care more for our lovers than for our mere friends?”
Why does this question seem contradictory to me? If we are less possessive of friends than of lovers then does it not make sense to claim we care more for our lovers than our friends?
In any case, possessiveness is a close kin to jealousy and I don’t do either. I don’t have lovers and my friends, such as they are, are free to “be or not to be” and it won’t make any difference to me.
Whooee and finally I get around to responding to this query… Your question was, and quote: “So if I understand you, you’re saying that possessiveness is compatible with genuinely caring for someone?” Blame my ESL English, but I was trying to express the exact opposite, LOL! Any amount of possessiveness indicates a lack of caring because the possessive person, well, “possesses” which means that whatever is being possessed is in some kind of cage – mental or physical. The possessive person is a control freak and denies freedom to the object of its possessiveness. At the extreme, the possessor may opt to kill the one it possesses to keep it from getting away. At the end of the possessive stick is a wad of serious jealousy and jealousy is a dangerous sickness. I hope that makes more sense.
Quite crazy…..
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Isn’t it, though?
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Sometimes makes no sense you know?
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All I can say is thank goodness we are not typically as possessive of our friends as we are of our lovers… there’s enough drama in this world as it is without adding friend envy, or whatever it would be called!
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“Friend Envy” — very descriptive! I so agree with you, Carla.
By the way, one of the many things I love about you is you speak your mind. You’re diplomatic about it, but you never hold back when you disagree with me. I love that.
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I couldn’t agree more 😀
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Because most of us can handle friendships better than we can handle love.
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So well put, my friend!
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Quote: “Why are we typically less possessive of our friends than of our lovers, when we so often claim to care more for our lovers than for our mere friends?”
Why does this question seem contradictory to me? If we are less possessive of friends than of lovers then does it not make sense to claim we care more for our lovers than our friends?
In any case, possessiveness is a close kin to jealousy and I don’t do either. I don’t have lovers and my friends, such as they are, are free to “be or not to be” and it won’t make any difference to me.
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That’s quite interesting, Sha’Tara. So if I understand you, you’re saying that possessiveness is compatible with genuinely caring for someone?
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Whooee and finally I get around to responding to this query… Your question was, and quote: “So if I understand you, you’re saying that possessiveness is compatible with genuinely caring for someone?” Blame my ESL English, but I was trying to express the exact opposite, LOL! Any amount of possessiveness indicates a lack of caring because the possessive person, well, “possesses” which means that whatever is being possessed is in some kind of cage – mental or physical. The possessive person is a control freak and denies freedom to the object of its possessiveness. At the extreme, the possessor may opt to kill the one it possesses to keep it from getting away. At the end of the possessive stick is a wad of serious jealousy and jealousy is a dangerous sickness. I hope that makes more sense.
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