Human Nature, Life, Love, Poetry, Relationships

All That Matters Now

(1)

I hear the leaves blow
Against our door tonight.
Dry leaves passing by,
Scratching against our winter door.

Sometimes I look up thinking, “She’s home”.

But it’s only a creak in the door,
And the leaves, the scratching leaves.

(2)

I wonder when next
You will come home early
So that you and I are not too tired to talk.

There’s so much we must talk about,

So much that neither one of us
Knows where to start
And we have been silent instead.

Once I might have told you,

“The winter leaves
Are the ghosts of summer
Passing by our door”.

Once you might have smiled
Just to hear me say it.

When we talk now, you and I,
It’s only to repeat the thoughts and the words
We repeated
The day,
Or the week,
Or the year before.

Yet, do you remember
We once loved and loved well?

(3)

You were not the first
To lie with me,
You were not the first.

But you were the first
To look at me
With dancing lights in your eyes,
With flowers in your grin,
And with a glowing face.

You were the first to affirm me.

We spent hours down by the river
On that ratty old quilt of yours
Sharing our secrets,
Learning how best to fit
Our bodies together,

So easily laughing
As the sunlight fell through the leaves
To dapple our hungry skins.

Our love was open then,
We were tender,
And so vulnerable
That sometimes the rain came in,
Sometimes the rain poured in.

Sometimes we hurt each other
As only lovers can.

Still,
We built no walls between us,
We built no walls.

We vowed our love
Would be forever green,
Would like the river, forever flow.

(4)

I do not resent
You are this night with him.

I have seen how he has rekindled
The lights in your eyes,
The lights I once loved.

(Besides
We do not always own our own hearts.
Our wills can be swept away
When our hearts are flooded and full.)

And I do not resent
That we fell short of spending
Our whole lives together.

A day is made no less because it passes.
A season is made no less because it turns.
A life is made no less because it ends.

And a lover is made no less
Because she moves on.

Once we loved whole,
Loved whole and well.
That is all that is left to us now.

That is all that matters now.

14 thoughts on “All That Matters Now”

    1. If time would only stand still when we are at the peak of joy. If only time didn’t move us along on our journeys, prodding us forward, forcing us to bear and grieve and anguish. This was beautifully written. You have an old soul. Mona

      Liked by 2 people

I'd love to hear from you. Comments make my day.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s