About This Blog

Help! I Need Help! (Seriously)

Ok. Ok, I grant it’s no news to any of my astute readers that I need help, but this time it’s special and different, albeit genuine.  You may have noticed I’ve got an “About This Blog” page that I have conveniently made easily accessible to you flesh eaters in the hope it will distract you for a few moments while I prepare my next post for your unholy and ravenous consumption.

The problem is this: The testimonials from other bloggers about Café Philos you can find on that page are a decade old and way out of date.  I need your help updating them.  I need fresh, new testimonials.

So, here’s what I’m thinking: I am fully prepared to write a short, honest review of your blog if you are just as prepared to write a short, honest review of my blog.  That’s it!  Simple.

Umm…granted, you get screwed.

Yes, this will be no escape for you from the most notable fact of life that you always get screwed somehow.  Sorry I couldn’t figure out a way for it to be an exception.  But the truth is, your blog probably has more traffic than mine — or is at least more charming — so it’s an unequal deal.

But try thinking of it this way: Maybe there really is a god, maybe he wants us to be kind to each other, and maybe you’ll get brownie points for helping out a lost soul.

Umm…yeah, right.  Even I cannot believe a deity would care about a blog review.  So, if you do it, do it for yourself.

What say?  Want something quick to post today?  You shouldn’t need to write a book to do it.  Just let me know you’re interested, please.

About This Blog, Religion

Why Most Founders of Today’s Major Religions Begin by First Reading Cafe Philos

I recently wrote a post on how to give good advice called, “Some Alarming Advice on Offering Advice” Naturally, being me (That’s Paul Sunstone, to be sure you know — and if you don’t know that by now, then we should take a DNA test, because we’re probably siblings), I came up with another even more alarming opinion on the matter this morning.

It just now occurred to me that some religions have at least a few prominent sages in them who gave bad advice. But if I’m right about that, then what did those sages do wrong?  I think mainly they broke the rule about not dishing out what works for you without making sure it will work for the person you’re advising!

So, dear readers, the next time any one of you founds a major religion, please read my blog first!  These days, seventy-six percent of all major religious founders do.  Trust me on this.  I complied the statistics myself. It’s was easy. I discovered all you need is some numbers and a sure-fire sense of proportions. No real math involved.  Anyone can compile stats!

Questions? Comments?  Plausible allegations your side of our family got all the brains?

About This Blog, Teresums

Why I Own and Operate a Lethal Weapon –This Blog

(About a 4 minute read)

In my defense, it was never meant to be a weapon.

It just sort of turned into one.

Some scurrilous people — people who know me all too well to be the sort of folk decent people willingly associate with — will say, “Predictably so”.

They will — all too gleefully, I suspect — point out that, as a writer, I am typically as reckless with my expressions as a drunken kangaroo stomping out grapes in a winery is careful with the grapes, and that it was thus inevitable this blog would quickly turn into a terrifying killing machine, fully capable of inducing in even its strongest readers a fierce, suicidal desire to plunge themselves full-face-forward into the nearest triple-D cleavage they can find — there to blessedly suffocate while no doubt whimpering the blog’s name.

Sure. Sure, I’ve heard it all before:

  • “Paul Sunstone passionately pours into each and every post a vital and essential part of himself — and gods, how we readers wish the egotistical creep would quit jerking off to his own writing!”
  • “Café Philos has been around for more than ten years now, during which time it has more than amply demonstrated the best years were the years Paul left it in hiatus.”
  • “Paul has yet to meet a profound and engaging idea he couldn’t reduce to something shallow and boring, much like grass, passing through a bull, is inevitably reduced to manure.”

Yeah, thank you all for those nearly daily emails of encouragement!  Albeit the majority of you have been encouraging me to commit myself to a retirement home, it’s the thought you care that sustains me.

So other than that, why do I blog?  Honestly, it’s mostly for myself.  But before any of you get Holier-Than-Teresums about how selfish that is, please consider: If I mainly did it for others, could I feel just as free to “do my thing”, my creative thing, just as true to myself as I can be — or would I be sorely tempted to pander to the crowd?

All my experience of life teaches me that art must be primarily created for the artist, least it be primarily created for the audience.  And if created for the audience, it inevitably suffers from a lack of creativity — to say nothing of new and possibly useful insights.  For me the playful joy of writing takes precedence over anyone or anything.

So there!  I do not mean to actually offend anyone (except Teresums), but in frank honesty, I am forced to place you second to me.  Sometimes I am tempted to revolt against that, but revolting against it is like challenging  a law of nature — you can never do so on your own terms, so you must always lose.

On the upside, y’all inspire me. Genuinely inspire me.  (Comments: Please keep them coming! You really need not make them “intelligent” or even encouraging — the mere fact you’ve taken a moment to say something is honestly enough for me.)  But why do you inspire me?

I could be wrong about this (as my first wife said to me on our wedding night), but I have been to other social media sites on the net, and near as I can tell, the audiences are in general somewhat less well informed, less thoughtful, and often remarkably less considerate than you folks.

If you think I’m merely flattering you, believe me: I’ve left out the very best parts so as to avoid even the appearance of flattery.

And if you don’t think I feel genuine gratitude towards you bunch of fractionally-known readers, and quite possible petty criminals (if I’m any judge of people), then you’re sorely mistaken.  And if you’re sorely mistaken, you should learn to use lubricant next time you read this blog. Just sayin’.

So that’s about it for me.  Naturally, there are other, more minor reasons I blog, why go into hours-long detail?  However, if you insist on learning of just one last real reason I blog — or at least, how I started blogging in the first place — please follow this link to a true-life but (I think) hilarious story.

So, let’s get to the often more interesting news: Why do you yourself blog?  What are the top two or three reasons for that?  And if you must send me nude selfies again, could you not be mooning me just this once?

About This Blog

Beloved Readers, I Need a Favor From You

(About a 1 minute read)

Dearly Beloved Reader,

Have you ever wanted fame, recognition, appreciation for who you are — but at no substantial cost to yourself in terms of years and years spent working for it?

Well, if so, then I have fun and exciting news for you!  While I cannot quite promise you fame, I can certainly guarantee genuine recognition and appreciation are now within your grasp!  Best of all, you can have both for the low, low cost of a mere few short minutes of your time!

How does it work?  Well, as you might have noticed, I have an “About You” page on this blog in addition to the usual “About Me” page that you see on most every blog these days.  That “About You” page is a great space for you to tell me and other readers something about yourself.  And you will be so appreciated for taking a moment to do it, too!

Your post on the “About You” page helps me to visualize who I am writing for.  It allows me to gain insight into what sort of topics might interest you, and into how I should write about them in order to improve your reading pleasure.  You would really be helping me out if you could take a moment to post about yourself!

It’s a simple thing to do, and I’ve tried to make it even easier by posting a list of suggested questions to get your creative juices flowing when describing yourself.  By no means do you need to answer all of them, or even most of them. You can do that if you want, but if you don’t want to answer all of them, just pick the ones you like and answer those.  Or make up entirely new questions of your own to answer!

Some of the questions are pretty straight-forward: “Were you a favorite child?”

Others are intended to be humorously fun: “What is the only real reason you are not King or Queen of the Universe?”

And still others are perhaps more thoughtful and reflective: “What are the two to six most beautiful things you’ve seen in your life?”

Remember, you are free and under absolutely no obligation to use any of the questions.  But please do drop by the “About You” page to introduce yourself.  Not only will you gain easy-to-earn recognition and appreciation from me and perhaps other readers, but you will be profoundly helping me to make this blog a great blog to visit!  And you sure want a great blog to visit, don’t you?

Please do it as soon as you can!

All the best,

Paul

About This Blog

Readers Will be Appalled to Learn…

I just wrote a nice little blog post on the marketing of religions.  A nice little blog post.  But something went wrong when I hit the publish key and, hence, it didn’t publish.  Instead, I lost the document.

Now, there are at least two ways of taking that sort of thing when it happens.  The first way is to shed quiet tears over your loss, then move on.

The second way is to shamelessly use the occasion to insufferably brag about what a great document it was (now that all the evidence that could disprove such a bold claim is gone).

Which road is the high road? Which road would a dignified blogger take?

To hell with which road is the high road!  And since when have I been a dignified blogger?

“Readers will be appalled to learn that the blog post proving beyond doubt I am the Hemingway of  the blogosphere was tragically eaten by the internet today….”

About This Blog, Gifts for Comments

And the Lucky Recipient is…

Back on July 2nd, Kay Dennison commented on a Café Philos blog post titled, “Chris Hedges on Lies and Truths in a Democracy”.  I liked her comment, and so I entered it into a database of the post comments that I arbitrarily liked best.

The database grew to nearly 100 comments by the end of the month.  Roughly about a third of all the comments left on the blog during the month made it into the database.  After the month ended, I used a random number generator to pick a single comment from the database.  That one comment happened to be Kay’s.  Consequently, she is to receive a cheap, gaudy Café Philos T-shirt — totally free to her — as a token of my lavish thanks for taking the time to comment on this blog.

Here is the comment she left that I entered into the drawing database:

I am in concurrence with the other comments here and rant about the state of our country a lot. I also am as active as I can be, for now, in politics. I’ve already committed myself to work on the coming election. Yeah, I’ll doing data entry, sorting mail or whatever but it’s all essential work and I urge everyone to get involved and best of all, you meet a lot of interesting, committed people! I was just involved — albeit marginally — with the We Are Ohio campaign that successfully did a killer job on getting a referendum to repeal SB 7 — the union-busting bill! I hope it’s a sign to the rest of the country that we can prevail!

Many thanks, Kay!

For the sake of variety, I’m thinking that this month’s giveaway should be a coffee mug.