Free Spirit, Friends, Fun, Horniness, Humor, Life, Living, Play, Quality of Life, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, The Art of Living Well

Geri. Sexuality and the Single Genius Secretary

(About a 6 minute read)

The first I noticed that Geri — our sales office secretary — might have a more than usually interesting sexuality was when she put Chicago’s “Daily Sex Tips Hotline” on every speakerphone in the office.

That’s to say, Geri went desk to desk, dialed the Hotline’s number into all of our phones one after the other, and punched the “speaker” button.  The whole office was soon singing, “Men often do not play nearly enough with their partner’s breasts and nipples…”.

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What is a “Feeling”?

KATHERINE: Can we talk?  I want to know how you two guys really feel about us women.  What do you really feel about us?

NICK: Well…I’d have to think…

KATHERINE: Not think, what do you feel?

NICK: Oh!  Yeah, well I don’t tell her this often enough but I feel gratitude, real gratitude when my girlfriend gets me a beer so I won’t miss any plays while I’m watching the Rams.

PAUL:  I’m celibate as you both know, but I find Nick’s testimony and witness deeply resonates with how I have felt in the distant past about my first wife’s sandwiches.  I can recall the very first sandwich she ever made for me just like it was yesterday…

KATHERINE:  I’m serious!  I’m really serious.  Can’t you talk about your feelings?

NICK:  Sure!  Feelings.  Got it.  Is a fart a feeling?

PAUL:  I’m pretty sure they are, Nick.  Farts move deep inside you.  People say feelings are things that move deep inside you.  It’s a no brainer, Nick.

KATHERINE: I’m outta here!  Don’t let me see either one of you for a week.  Not for a week, or you’re dead!  You hear?  I’m gone!

NICK: Was it something we said, Paul?

PAUL;  Yeah, I think it must have been.  I think she must not be a Rams fan.


Gotta Know! Don, I Gotta Know!

DON: Hello?

PAUL: Don! Gotta know!  If you were a tortoise, how many hares would you want to outrun each day?  Seriously!

DON: Oh, I don’t know.  Maybe…Wait! Why am I trying to answer this question again?

PAUL:  First how many hares?  Then I can tell you.  Seriously!  How many hares?

DON:  Ok, six. Six hares.  Now spill it!  Why are you asking this?

PAUL:  YES! SIX!  Don, that’s the very same, the exact same number of hares I myself would want to outrun if I were a tortoise!

DON:  Ok. Alright. Alright. But why are you asking?

PAUL:  Are you saying you don’t find the question intrinsically interesting?  I’ve been thinking about it for 50 minutes now.  Fascinating question, don’t you think?  Absolutely a fascinating question!  And the answers, Don!  Out of an infinite number of possibilities, what are odds of our having picked the very same number of hares? Imagine the statisticians faces when I pub…  …  Don?  Are you still there, Don?  Don!  Don, your phone broke…again!


What Ben Franklin Really Said…

(About a 2 minute read)

FROM: Paul “Scholar” Sunstone
TO: Jane Basil
SUBJECT: The Truth!

It’s obscene, Jane.  Perfectly obscene!

Naturally, I can only be referring to the utterly profane habit people have of misquoting Ben Franklin.

“Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy.”


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Humor, Love, Marissa Callahan

The Red Engine Love Letter

(About a 10 minute read)

FROM: Paul Sunstone
TO: Marissa “Free Bird” Callahan
SUBJECT: Don’t Know Subject Yet. What do you want to talk about?


FROM: Marissa “Free Bird” Callahan
TO: Paul Sunstone
SUBJECT: Re: Don’t Know Subject Yet. What do you want to talk about?

Woo me!

FROM: Paul Sunstone
TO: Marissa “Free Bird” Callahan
SUBJECT: Re: Don’t Know Subject Yet. What do you want to talk about?


FROM: Marissa “Free Bird” Callahan
TO: Paul Sunstone
SUBJECT: Re: Don’t Know Subject Yet. What do you want to talk about?

Not whoot me, you ditz! WOO me!

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I Would Feel Untrue

Have you noticed?  Not everyone wants you to be kind to them.  They might say they do, but then they have their ways of sabotaging anyone’s kindness towards them.

I like Jane.  She’s old and wise enough to embrace any freely-given kindness that’s shown her.

I like Terese and Marysa, too.  But showing them kindness just does not work.  They’re both too young.

Not too young to appreciate kindness — both have had it rough enough that you can bet they appreciate kindness!

Not even young people are too young too appreciate kindness.

It’s just whenever I’m kind to young people, I feel I’m betraying myself.  I feel untrue.  It’s just not “me” to be kind to young people.