Human Nature, Life, Living, Love

Sentimentalize Love at Your Own Risk

(About a 1 minute read)

Sentimentalizing love like a pop star, a popular movie, or a romance novel sentimentalizes love is all sweet innocent fun — just like sentimentalizing your romantic  and attractive fireplace.  Until you forget to check that all the coals are dead before going on vacation — only to come home and discover your house has burnt down, right along with your cheap, plastic altars to the Goddess of Love.

For instance, want to put yourself at risk of cheating on your partner?  Just tell yourself you are not the type to cheat, that you’re too honest, too loyal for that — that love has no power of its own over you.  That’s the same as letting your guard down.  Love is lawless and subversive.  Go ahead and tell yourself you yourself are beyond it’s reach.  Live dangerously: Tell yourself you’re beyond its reach!

Sentimentalize love at your own risk.

Human Nature, Law, Life, Living, Love, Passion

Love is a Lawless Thing

Love is a lawless thing, subversive of every tradition and custom on earth.  Do you think people don’t sentimentalize it?  Anyone who fails to grasp how lawless, how subversive love can be is sentimentalizing it.  Love is a lawless thing and yet, paradoxically, love knows of laws the Law itself does not know.

Creativity, Cultural Change, Cultural Traits, Culture, Human Nature, Ideas, Invention, Life, Literature, Love, Lovers, Memes, New Idea, New Love, Poetry, Quality of Life, Relationships, Romantic Love, Writing

Will Tomorrow Bring a Better Love?

(About a 1 minute read)

Over a thousand years ago, a handful of Persian and Arabic court poets created a new way of looking at one of the seven or eight kinds of love.  Today we still see that kind of love largely through their eyes.  We call it “romantic love”.

Of course romantic love has been around since the first homo sapiens — and most likely even before them.  It’s as old as the yellow grasses of Africa.  But it has not always been seen — it has not always been understood — in the way we see and understand it today.

Here’s a thought for you.  The world is coming together and I think it is likely that quite soon, some group of “poets” will create a new way of looking at love — one suited to a global culture.  But if that wild idea comes true, then hold your breath!  How people see love influences how they love.

If and when a new way of seeing love comes about — will that way be overall a good thing for the world, or a bad thing?

In my opinion, it could go either way.


For more on this topic, see this post.

Art, Creativity, Cultural Change, Cultural Traits, Culture, Human Nature, Ideas, Invention, Life, Literature, Love, Lovers, Memes, New Idea, New Love, Poetry, Relationships, Writing

“East and West”: A Love Story for the 21st Century

(About a 3 minute read)

We all know the story.  Boy meets girl, they fall in love.  They fight.  Then make up.  Then pair off  forever and ever.

Puke me a river of boredom.  The story has been repeated more often than Trump’s stupidity.  Besides, it’s totally outdated.   Totally outdated.

It’s outdated because it is basically a Western story — and we living a world now where “we” are no longer just and only the West.  Think about it.  Isn’t it time for a new kind of love story?  One that combines — that synthesizes — the great motifs of both East and West?

In a way, it does not matter what you and I think the time has come for.  It’s going to happen anyway.  The world is already too globalized for it not to happen.  There will be an East/West love story someday — and probably someday soon.   A story that has elements of the old Western story, but also much that is new to the West.

Why do I think so?

Maybe the easy way to put is this: In the West, you love an individual.  You love what is unique, special about someone. . In other words, you love Jim, and no one will do but Jim.  Or Melinda, etc.  If you, dear reader, are from the West, that’s all common sense, right?

But traditionally, it was different in the East.  Traditionally, you do not love the individual there.  You do not love whatever it is about them that makes them one of a kind.  Instead, you love the universal in someone.  The timeless, unchanging, eternal in them.  The thing they have in common with everyone else.

Don’t believe me?  I had once had a professor who now and then would read traditional Indian love stories to us.  Every hero is the same.  Every heroine is the same.  Story to story to story.  Only the moral of he stories ever changes. Only the moral.

Of course there are Western style love stories all over the East these days — but guess where they came from?

I will wager that someone soon is going to create a true synthesis of East and West when it comes to love stories.  Something that will worldwide replace the individualism of “She’s the only one in the whole world for me” — but also replace the universalism of “He’s interchangeable with any ranking member of his cast or class or clan.”

By the way, look not just for a new story, look even more for a new way of thinking about what it means to love someone.  That will be the real change.  The real synthesis.  Not the plot, but the new vision of what love is.

Just a thought for the day.  Y’all can go back to being sane now.

 

Life, Love, Poetry

À Toi Appartient le Printemps (To You Belongs the Spring)

À toi appartient le printemps
À toi appartient l’été
Pour vous appartient de l’année
Pour moi appartient la soirée
Je souhaite seulement pour voir vous épanouir
Mais ma nuit vient
Et trop tôt
Tu ne seras plus énorme et devant moi.
Et bientôt
Tu seras au-delà de ma vie et de mon amour.

Aller jeune femme!
Allez jeune homme!
Amour!
Vivre!
Danse!
Créer!

Et rire avec moi pour m’aider dans ma mort
Tandis que j’abandonne ce qui me reste
Pour vous et votre avenir


To you belongs the spring
To you belongs the summer
To you belongs the year
To me belongs the evening
I wish only to witness you flourish
But my night comes
And too soon
You will not loom large and before me,
And soon
You will be beyond my life and my love.

Go young woman!
Go young man!
Love!
Live!
Dance!
Create!

And laugh with me to ease my dying
As I surrender what remains to me
To you and your future.

Death, Friends, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Muses, Resilience, Terese, Teresums

The Rebirth

To my friend, Terese Bozdas.

Once I stood on the trembling ice
Of a mountain torrent in winter
Surrounded by granite boulders
And dared the wild waters to drown me.

I had lost my wife.
I had lost my home.
I had lost my hopes.
I had lost my dreams.
And I dared the wild ice
Beneath me to break.

It is curious how you can sometimes
Be so numb the desire to die
Is the only thing
That makes you feel alive.

It was only when you came to me
Some years later

Singing songs of friendship,
Singing songs of compassion,

That I felt at last
The rebirth, the renewal
Of Spring.

Anupriya Kumari, Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Death, Eudaimonia, Free Spirit, Goals, Human Nature, Ideas, Impermance, Josh, Life, Living, Meaning, Nature, Play, Purpose, Quality of Life, Self-Flourishing, Spirituality, The Art of Living Well, Well Being

The Meaning and Purpose of Defiance

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY:  Paul offers his views on the meaning and purpose of life.

THE CRITICS EJACULATE! “The Grand Fraud of Blogging American, Paul Sunstone, excretes his opinions about the meaning and purpose of life in what can only be considered a shameless act of public urination.  Life is fully terrifying enough without the addition of his muddled and confused vision for embracing it.  I must insist upon the return of the guillotine.  I must insist upon the return of justice to our world.” — Aloyse Leblanc, Le Critique Passionné de Blog, “La Tribune Linville”, Linville, France.

Continue reading “The Meaning and Purpose of Defiance”

Fear, Human Nature, Life

The Irrational Side of Human Nature

(About a 5 minute read)

I am very familiar with the idea of both the artists and the scientists that we humans harbor an irrational ape.  That you have only to scratch our surfaces to find a scared and confused ape looking out at the world through ancient eyes filled with fear, superstition, bias, and error.  I am very familiar with that idea.

Continue reading “The Irrational Side of Human Nature”

Advice, Attached Love, Attachment, Clinging, Human Nature, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Meditation, Quality of Life, Resilience, Spirituality, The Art of Living Well, Well Being

The Good News and the Bad News About Love

(About a 1 minute read)

The bad news is that you cannot love without risking almost certain pain now and then.  Even the most skillful and conscientious lover will now and then inadvertently hurt you. Even the greatest loves will someday come to an end — and often tragically (that is, in the ancient sense of tragedy — due to a flaw in human nature).

The good news is most — but never all — of the suffering most of us experience when loving someone comes from clinging unnecessarily to someone in an attempt to preserve the pleasures or avoid the pains of loving them.  If you can see this, and see it very clearly, you will put an end to the clinging, and with it, most of the suffering.

You need not do anything else.  You need only see it.  Once seen, your mind will reflexively avoid clinging like it would reflexively avoid a snake in the grass.

That is not something you should believe.  No matter how strongly you believe that, belief will not bring about an end to the suffering.  You must see it, instead.  You must watch it happening.  You much watch the whole process of clinging producing suffering — and no one can watch it for you.  No one can change a thing merely by telling you about it.

The way to watch it is through meditation.   Not introspection. Not contemplation.  Meditation.

Just my two cents.

Advice, Life, Living, Love, The Art of Living Well

Tired of Life?

Tired of life?

Try falling in love with someone, then play an old favorite, worn out song while imagining how they themselves would hear it.

If that doesn’t work for you, you just might be doing it wrong.  Double-check to see if you actually are in love with them.  Sometimes that’s the problem, sometimes not.

Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Eudaimonia, Free Spirit, Life, Living, Love, Oppression, Quality of Life, Self-Flourishing, The Art of Living Well, Well Being

“Leave Me Wild or Die”

(About a 2 minute read)

I’ve got a promiscuous heart.  It’s a nymphomaniac.  It can’t stop itself from falling for people.  Long ago, I tried long and hard to love “an only one”.  The heart didn’t like that at all.  It went on strike after about two years.  It began making me die inside.

It’s a loyal heart.  Once it decides to love you, it sticks with you no matter what you do just like a bad family name in a small town.  It never falters in it’s love for more than the few minutes it takes you to forget one of my lectures on the epistemology of carnal knowledge.  If you abuse me, it will still love you.  It will only regret that now I myself have got to leave you.   It’s as promiscuous as a cruise ship full of cats, but it’s as loyal as a kennel full of dogs.

But it’s picky too.  Paradoxically, while it can’t just limit itself to an only one, it can be really picky about the dozen or so people it loves all at the same time.  Sometimes it won’t even love people I like, esteem, and admire.  People I would proudly be the first to pick as a roommate on a lonely two year rocket ride to Mars.  Sometimes I think my heart is the pickiest heart I’ve heard tell of apart from hearts too scared, too confused, or too stuck up to love anyone at all.

I’ve tried — years ago I tried — to turn my heart into a nice, weedless, walled garden.  It just came back to me with an ultimatum,  “Leave me wild or die”.

Adolescent Sexuality, Bad Ideas, Courage, Dan Cohen, Free Spirit, Friends, Guilt, Honesty, Horniness, Human Nature, Judgementalism, Learning, Life, Living, Loneliness, Love, Lovers, Lust, Quality of Life, Relationships, Seduction, Self-Knowledge, Sex, Sexuality, Sexualization, Shame, The Art of Living Well, Values, Well Being, Wisdom

Sleep With Your Friends, Not Your Fascinations!

(About a 7 minute read)

Guys, I apologize for a bossy post title, but I just could not resist the alliteration.  A good phrase has so often been my undoing in life.  Twice, for instance, I said, “Make it happen!”, at the worst possible moment.

“Make it happen” is one of my favorite phrases.  I stole if from my younger brother. My bro is superb at making even seemingly impossible things happen.  But twice, I’ve said it when I should have thought before I said it.  “Do you, Paul, accept this woman as your lawfully wedded wife…”.

“Make it happen!”

“I’ll take that as an ‘I do’. You may now kiss the wench.”

Continue reading “Sleep With Your Friends, Not Your Fascinations!”