Attached Love, Awe, Bad Ideas, Education, Erotic Love, Human Nature, Ideas, Knowledge, Learning, Love, Mature Love, New Love, Parental Love, Romantic Love, Science

Do the Sciences Rob Love of Beauty and Mystery?

“It is sometimes said that scientists are unromantic, that their passion to figure out robs the world of beauty and mystery … It does no harm to the romance of the sunset to know a little bit about it.” — Carl Sagan

SUMMARY: I reject the notion that the sciences rob love of beauty and mystery.

(About a 4 minute read)

Love is probably the best thing most of us will ever experience in life.  This fact is made even more astonishing when you consider that life also includes blogging, and yet love amazingly edges out blogging even in the minds of otherwise sensible people when it comes to the best things in life.

But what is love?

There seem upon examination to be so many kinds of love that it would be perfectly understandable if the question, “what is love”, made us all go off into a corner, suck our thumbs, and whimper.  At least, I think it would be perfectly understandable.  But then, going off into a corner, sucking my thumb, and whimpering is what I do with about a quarter of my day, especially after reading the news headlines.

Continue reading “Do the Sciences Rob Love of Beauty and Mystery?”

Advice, Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Courtship, Free Spirit, Freedom, Friends, Fun, Human Nature, Ideas, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Loyalty, Marriage, Oppression, Play, Quality of Life, Relationships, Sex, Values

How an Open Relationship Can be Fun and Exciting for Both You and Your Mail Carrier

“If you love somebody, set them free.  If they return to you, it’s beautiful.” — Anonymous, often falsely attributed to Richard Bach.

SUMMARY:  Open relationships in which the partners are by and large free to do as they please aren’t all roses and sparkles, but they can solve some common enough problems with more conventional relationships.

(About a 7 minute read)

Give me a free spirited woman!  After more than twenty years of being happily celibate, I most certainly wouldn’t know what to do with one, but that does not mean I would not — if the right one came along — seriously consider getting into one of those romantic thingies with her.

You know, one of those friendships where you get to do sexy stuff like…um…I forget now.  Oh yeah!  Like blow up condoms and bounce them around the bedroom together!  At least, that’s what I recall condoms are for.  I’m pretty sure they make lousy garbage can liners, so it’s logically got to be balloons, right?

Continue reading “How an Open Relationship Can be Fun and Exciting for Both You and Your Mail Carrier”

Abuse, Bad Ideas, Cultural Traits, Culture, Human Nature, Life, Living, Oppression, Parental Love, Religion, Religious Ideologies

Rising Above Human Nature

“Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we were put in this world to rise above.” — Katherine Hepburn, African Queen.

SUMMARY:  Our cultures need to be doing more to ameliorate the effects of our negative human instincts.

(About a 4 minute read)

It’s my impression that most of us these days are at least dimly aware that human nature can be out of joint with human happiness.  That is, we can have a disposition or inclination to certain feelings and behaviors that more or less inevitably lead us into unhappy situations, and even misery.

Warfare is an example of that.  While humans apparently do not have an actual instinct to war upon each other, we do indeed have a full set of instincts that mean war is all but directly hardwired into our DNA.

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Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Human Nature, Life, Living, Love, Oppression, Self, Self-determination, Self-Knowledge, Spirituality, Talents and Skills, Values

Love and Authenticity

SUMMARY: Mutual love with another person typically provides inspiration and encouragement to be true to ourselves.

(About a 4 minute read)

When I was nineteen, I met the first great love of my life.  A woman I believed to be so remarkable that I arranged for us to have a heart-to-heart discussion about what I could do to become more like her.

Unfortunately, life’s currents soon enough separated us when I had to move out of town.  But about a year after I’d met her, something quite strange happened.  I was thinking over my life one evening when I recalled a traumatic event of my childhood. That in itself was strange because the event had so traumatized me that I had no other way to deal with it than — for years — simply refusing to think about it for more than a second or two at a time.  Yet, here I was actually recalling it as fully as I could for the first time since the event had happened.

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Amanda, God, God(s), Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Quality of Life, Religion, Sacred, Sex, Spirituality

Is Sex Sacred?

SUMMARY: The statement “Sex is sacred” can have two meanings and thus two very different answers, depending on which meaning you go with.

(About a 5 minute read)

I was recently shocked and delighted when an attractive young woman I talk with about once every week or two at the local coffee shop suggested to me I’d be “fun to get in bed with”.

That is, I was shocked because Amanda is nearly 35 years my junior, and I was delighted because not many attractive 20 somethings have in recent years professed any such interest in me, despite that I typically spend some time each week standing beside the interstate exit ramp with a cardboard sign reading, “Experienced Sex Tutor.  Free Lessons!”.

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Advice, Erotic Love, Human Nature, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Quality of Life, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality

How to be a Great Lover

“Sex: In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.”  ― Marlene Dietrich

SUMMARY:  The importance of being a considerate lover.

(About a 5 minute read)

Oral sex was still controversial in my rural Midwestern town when I was growing up.  Near as I can recall now, about a third of my classmates thought it was obviously unacceptable, about a third thought fellatio was alright, but cunnilingus was not, and a third accepted both forms.   Almost no one considered it obligatory.

I was in the third that wholly accepted it, and that paid off after I made my way to university and became truly sexually active.  It certainly got me a lot of compliments.  Looking back now, I can see how about the only reason the compliments were glowing was because so many people refused to perform it on women.

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Advice, Gratitude, Happiness, Life, Living, Love, Quality of Life

How to be Happy Even During Tough Times

SUMMARY: Three things that can help us be happy even through moderate tough times.

(About a 4 minute read) 

I have yet to figure out why anyone would gamble.  It seems to me life itself is so much of a gamble why pick an entertainment that isn’t much different from it?  Might as well choose to paint houses in order to distract yourself from the paint fumes.

Of course, one of the biggest gambles in life is the pursuit of happiness.  Even Thomas Jefferson believed our only right was to pursue it — there being no right or guarantee to attaining it.  And — either I’ve been reading the wrong self-help literature — or just about everyone, even the people who map out strategies for other folks to be happy, is pretty sure that there are times when life is simply too tough to be happy.

Continue reading “How to be Happy Even During Tough Times”