Agape, Human Nature, Life, Love, Spirituality, Unconditional Love

How Do We Know Unconditional Love Exists?

SUMMARY:  I attempt to answer three questions about unconditional love including how we know it exists.

(About a 5 minute read)

We humans are a strange animal.  For one thing, we seem to be, in about equal measures, a social species and an individualistic species.

Put differently, we have contradictory needs.  On the one hand, we feel an emotional need for companionship and to get along with each other.  On the other hand, we feel just as much of an emotional need for independence and not to be bothered by each other.

Perhaps because we are a social species, we often feel a need for people to share our beliefs, and perhaps because we are an individualistic species, we often resent it when others try to make us believe as they do.

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Abuse, Adolescent Sexuality, Advice, Courtship, Erotic Love, Ethics, Human Nature, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Mature Love, Morals, New Love, Relationships, Romantic Love, Sex, Sexuality

How Young is Too Young to Love?

SUMMARY:  I discuss two separate questions.  First, how old must someone be to feel love? Second, how mature should someone be to handle love?  I address the first question — which is a factual question — through science.  I address the second question — which is a matter of opinion or judgement — through five measures or standards for maturity.

(About a 12 minute read)

After I had reached puberty, a number of adults — including my mother and some of my teachers — cautioned me and others my age that we were “too young to love”.  No explanation was ever given for why we were too young for romantic love.  It was just so.  Lucky for me, I bought into the idea.

I say I was lucky because during high school I became deeply infatuated with a girl in my class.  Had I not bought into the notion I was too young to love, I might have fancied myself in love with her — which would not only have been factually untrue, but I can only image the trouble it would have caused me at the time to think I was in love with her.

Yet, the question of whether I was too young to love is ambiguous.  It can be interpreted in at least two ways.  First, was I too young to feel love (had I actually felt it)?  Second, was I too young to cope with love?

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Belief, Cultural Traits, Culture, Education, Free Spirit, Human Nature, Knowledge, Learning, Life, Living, Love, Memes, Mysticism, Quality of Life, Satori, Self-determination, Skeptical Thinking, Society, Thinking, Transformative Experience

New Eyes

SUMMARY:  A look at maximizing our freedom by freeing us from our cultural assumptions so that we might pick and choose which aspects of our culture are of value to us and which aspects are not.  Life experiences (including travel), education, love, and mystical experiences are all considered as means of freeing us.

(About a 6 minute read)

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ― Marcel Proust

My first wife, Jana, was born in Bohemia, Czechoslovakia under the Soviet occupation.  At age 9, she escaped with her family to West Germany.  Two years later, they immigrated to the US.

Her mother and father, both being doctors, were able to send her back to Europe to attend a private Swiss boarding school for her high school education.  After high school, she lived in England for awhile, before returning to the US to attend university, where I met her.

By the time I met her, she was a confirmed traveler.  But travel was much more to her than an exciting adventure.  It was a way of learning new things, new ways of doing and thinking.  Or, as Proust might have it, travel was Jana’s way of gaining “new eyes”.

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Adolescence, Adolescent Sexuality, Attachment, Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Coffee Shop Folks, Coffee Shop Stories, Family, Fatherless Children, Fatherless Daughters, Fatherless Girls, Friends, Human Nature, Jackie, Jerks, Judgementalism, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Mental and Emotional Health, Obsession, People, Quality of Life, Relationships, Sarah, Self, Self Identity, Self Image, Self-determination, Self-Knowledge, Sex, Sexuality, Society

All the Young Women

SUMMARY: I take a look at the women I met some years ago in Colorado Springs, and then draw a few conclusions about the challenges they faced at that time in their lives.

(About a 8 minute read)

People are often more predictable than life itself.  I can often predict, with surprising accuracy, what a long-term friend will do in almost any situation, but my life has taught me that it can be considerably more difficult to predict where I will be in a year or two.

I certainly did not expect when I came to Colorado that I would soon know — at least casually — about 200 young men and women twenty years younger than me, nor that about two dozen of them would befriend me.

Yet that’s what happened — largely as a direct consequence of my choosing to frequent a coffee shop that both served the cheapest cup in town and was the hang out of hundreds of local high school students.  Since it was also the oldest and most established coffee shop in town, it was also the hang out of everyone else — from the mayor and some city council members to several homeless people.

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Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Buddhahood, Enlightenment, Goals, Human Nature, Life, Living, Love, Meaning, Mysticism, Purpose, Quality of Life, Satori, Self, Self-Integration, Self-Realization, Spirituality, Transformative Experience, Unconditional Love, Values

More to Life

SUMMARY:  Many of us at one time or another in our lives feel that life is passing us by, that we are not getting as much out of it as possible.  For most of us who feel that way, there are ready remedies in entertainment, consumerism, and so forth — at least at first.  But for others, the desire for something more cannot be solved in such ways.  In this post, I look at what I consider the ultimate solutions to the problem of wanting more from life.

(About a 9 minute read)

It’s a curious fact that when a person is down and out, they can be too down and out to want to think there is more to life than their current fate.  The thought of a better life can be too painful to contemplate under the circumstances.

But for most of us, there are times in our lives when we are discontent, profoundly discontent, and in search of something more.  That sort of feeling is usually accompanied in my experience by boredom with life as it is, and perhaps a sense it will never get much better.

At which point, many of us instinctively turn to entertainments, to consumerism, to self-improvement books and articles, to politics, or religion.  Sometimes we switch jobs, buy a bigger house, take a vacation, or even — and I have seen this happen — get married or plan children out of boredom and to escape that feeling there should be something more to life than what we have.

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Beauty, Buddhahood, Consciousness, Enlightenment, Free Spirit, Human Nature, Ideas, Life, Living, Love, Memes, Mysticism, Quality of Life, Religion, Self, Self-Integration, Sense of Relatedness, Spirituality, Transformative Experience, Unconditional Love, Wisdom

The Dance of the Cosmic Dancer

SUMMARY: The image of a cosmic dancer appeals to many people and is open to many interpretations, including the notion presented here that it represents the state of consciousness of a spiritually enlightened person.

(About a 7 minute read)

The great mythologist, Joseph Campbell, enjoyed attributing his own thoughts to others.  Thus, he interpreted Nietzsche’s “Cosmic Dancer” to be someone who dances between opinions and points of view, rather than resting heavily on any particular opinion or point of view.

Although Nietzsche himself never quite saw it the same way, Campbell’s image is an attractive one.  Not only is there truth to be found in an ability to see things from many points of view, but in both intellectual and spiritual terms, it is the very opposite of fanaticism.

Images have a way of taking on a life of their own.  What is created to symbolize one thing can soon come to symbolize many things.  Some long time ago, I posted on this blog one possible interpretation of the cosmic dancer image (You can find that post here, if you’re interested).  Since then, the post has gotten at least a few hits a month, mainly — if the search terms are any indication — from people looking for a definitive interpretation of the term “cosmic dancer”.

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Emotional Dependency, Human Nature, Ideas, Infatuation, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Relationships

Infatuation

SUMMARY: People often distinguish between love and infatuation on the basis of how long each is purported to last.  Love is said to last forever, while infatuations are said to be brief and fleeting.  This post proposes that infatuations are better defined as emotional dependencies.

(About a 3 minute read)

I have probably heard a hundred or more times in my life someone confess to me that he or she married their partner — not because they loved them — but because they were infatuated with them.  Never once have I heard someone say that worked out well.

But what, exactly, is infatuation?

In common thought, infatuation is to be distinguished from love mainly by how long it is assumed to last.  That is, an infatuation is seen as of brief duration, while love is thought to always be enduring.  But I have problems with that definition.

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