Category: Infatuation

Adolescent Sexuality, Agape, Anger, Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Education, Erotic Love, Fear, Friends, Gratitude, Horniness, Human Nature, Infatuation, Learning, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, New Love, Passion, People, Possessiveness, Relationships, Romantic Love, Self, Self Identity, Self Image, Self-Flourishing, Self-Knowledge, Sexuality, Sharon, Talents and Skills, Teacher, Unconditional Love

Sharon’s Love for the Horny Misfit Boy

Paul Sunstone

(About a 20 minute read)

Many a beautiful friendship has sprouted from awkward soil.  In fact, most of my deepest friendships in life have begun clumsily.

I know of no inviolate law of nature that dictates the conservative beige panties of a young school librarian cannot possibly be the start of a profound bond between her and an insufferably horny 14 year old boy misfit.  I know of no law that states such a thing cannot happen.

Yet the very last thing on my mind when Sharon’s angry voice shook me awake that Spring morning was, “This is the start of a beautiful friendship”.

Continue reading “Sharon’s Love for the Horny Misfit Boy” →

Attached Love, Attachment, Authenticity, Bad Ideas, Being True To Yourself, Clinging, Cultural Traits, Culture, Delusion, Emotions, Free Spirit, Friends, Human Nature, Infatuation, Liars Lies and Lying, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Marriage, Memes, Poetry, Possessiveness, Relationships, Self, Spirituality, Truth

A Flock of Sparrows for Majel: The Love that Only Turns You Lonely

Paul Sunstone

A Flock of Sparrows for Majel

(About a 3 minute read)

I’m confused, Marissa.
You who so often see the truths beneath the lies,
What did you expect but loneliness?
What did you expect when you married Jim?

You would hear no blame in my words, Marissa,
If you could hear their tone.
You would hear no faulting in my voice, Marissa,
If you were here with me this morning
And we in each other’s sunny arms.

You would hear only curiosity.
Deep and profound
You would hear only curiosity.

Continue reading “A Flock of Sparrows for Majel: The Love that Only Turns You Lonely” →

Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Butch, Free Spirit, Friends, Infatuation, Love, Lovers, Morality, Morals, People, Poetry, Possessiveness, Quality of Life, Rae, Relationships, Values

A Flock of Sparrows For Majel: The Man Who Listened Well and the Woman Who Would Return to Him

Paul Sunstone

A Flock of Sparrows for Majel

(About a 2 minute read)

Rae and Butch were wildflowers.
The kind you rarely find in the city,
But when you do, they’re growing
Up through cracks in the pavement,
Often in the poorer quarters,
Indifferent to the city’s rules.

Their petals are usually chewed a bit
By bugs that took a bite,
But then moved on to more tender fare.

They survive much, those flowers.

Continue reading “A Flock of Sparrows For Majel: The Man Who Listened Well and the Woman Who Would Return to Him” →

Emotional Dependency, Human Nature, Ideas, Infatuation, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Relationships

Infatuation

Paul Sunstone

SUMMARY: People often distinguish between love and infatuation on the basis of how long each is purported to last.  Love is said to last forever, while infatuations are said to be brief and fleeting.  This post proposes that infatuations are better defined as emotional dependencies.

(About a 3 minute read)

I have probably heard a hundred or more times in my life someone confess to me that he or she married their partner — not because they loved them — but because they were infatuated with them.  Never once have I heard someone say that worked out well.

But what, exactly, is infatuation?

In common thought, infatuation is to be distinguished from love mainly by how long it is assumed to last.  That is, an infatuation is seen as of brief duration, while love is thought to always be enduring.  But I have problems with that definition.

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Abuse, Infatuation, Poetry

Why, I Wonder, Do You Think You Love Me?

Paul Sunstone

I have wondered whether I could win
A contest with asphalt for your love.

If I told you I was allergic to your cats,
You’d take sides with your cats,
And not ask if I was at all discomforted.

You profess to love me with the abandon
Of a wild rose in the rain
But I have observed your love now
And found it yields quicker than a reed
In a hurricane to your self-image.

Whenever my life with you has forced you to choose
Between me and who you think you are,
You have chosen who you think you are.

I wonder now if you have ever loved anyone
And why you think you love me?

Adolescent Sexuality, Drug Abuse, Erotic Love, Horniness, Human Nature, Infatuation, Intelligence, Life, People, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, Sexualization

The Janet I knew, and the Real Janet

Paul Sunstone

(About an 8 minute read)

As nearly every adult knows, adolescence — whatever else it is — is a time of confusion and heartache.  I think our memories of the heartache can stick with us for life.  At 61, they are still almost vivid to me.

The confusion is another matter though.  It is quite easy enough to recall being confused, but it can be just as difficult to recall precisely how we were confused.  Perhaps that’s because our current clarity has simply crowded out our years of confusion.

Continue reading “The Janet I knew, and the Real Janet” →

Abuse, Adolescent Sexuality, Attached Love, Courtship, Emotional Dependency, Erotic Love, Human Nature, Infatuation, Life, Love, Lovers, Marriage, Mature Love, New Love, Sex, Sexuality

Women’s Sexuality and Moral Judgementalism

Paul Sunstone

(About a 4 minute read)

Perhaps significantly more than men’s sexuality, women’s sexuality is typically surrounded and wrapped in moral judgements.  Judgements that seem to me to mostly confuse the issue of exactly what is women’s sexuality?

Science can be of too little help here.  Many or most of the scientists themselves might be getting closer and closer to a firm understanding of women, but there is enough controversy in the field that a layman might find it quite difficult which theory — or even which facts — to trust.

Continue reading “Women’s Sexuality and Moral Judgementalism” →