(About a 4 minute read)
This is how I explain it to myself. Suppose you meet someone who soon delights you, but who you do not in any way think of as “yours”. She’s not (at least not yet) your friend, or your lover, or your colleague, or your boss, or your employee, or your client, or your teacher, or your neighbor, or your — anything. She delights you, but — as we sometimes say — she means nothing to you.
Let’s say you met her because she sat down at the table next to you in a coffee shop. Glancing over you see her take a novel out of her purse. “What a striking cover! I’ve never seen another like it. Is it a good read?” A conversation starts. A few minutes later, you are thinking she’s an easy-going, down to earth, and rather delightful person.