Advice, Horniness, Human Nature, Love, Lovers, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality

Some Advice for Hideous Post-Pubic Teens and Other Outlaw Pervs

[Asshole Mode On] Please pardon my French, but I don’t have a polite way to say this at the moment. Don’t waste energy and effort rushing into sex like sex was some sort of football game and you were a lineman who had to charge headlong into fucking like your life depended on you getting a little ass.

Just don’t.

Just don’t rush in.

Allow yourself to grow into it instead.

You will, you know, you’ll grow into it naturally, inevitably.  Trust me!  It happens!  You’ll know you’re ready when you are at last with a real decent partner and you feel like you will die — DIE! — if you can’t fuck them that very moment.  That’s how it feels to be emotionally ready for it.

And for the sake of the weeping gods, use condoms or some other medically approved protection, you hideous, perving morons! [/Asshole Mode Off]

Adolescent Sexuality, Bad Ideas, Courage, Dan Cohen, Free Spirit, Friends, Guilt, Honesty, Horniness, Human Nature, Judgementalism, Learning, Life, Living, Loneliness, Love, Lovers, Lust, Quality of Life, Relationships, Seduction, Self-Knowledge, Sex, Sexuality, Sexualization, Shame, The Art of Living Well, Values, Well Being, Wisdom

Sleep With Your Friends, Not Your Fascinations!

(About a 7 minute read)

Guys, I apologize for a bossy post title, but I just could not resist the alliteration.  A good phrase has so often been my undoing in life.  Twice, for instance, I said, “Make it happen!”, at the worst possible moment.

“Make it happen” is one of my favorite phrases.  I stole if from my younger brother. My bro is superb at making even seemingly impossible things happen.  But twice, I’ve said it when I should have thought before I said it.  “Do you, Paul, accept this woman as your lawfully wedded wife…”.

“Make it happen!”

“I’ll take that as an ‘I do’. You may now kiss the wench.”

Continue reading “Sleep With Your Friends, Not Your Fascinations!”

Bad Ideas, Cultural Traits, Culture, Erotic Love, Human Nature, Jennifer, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Memes, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, The Art of Living Well

Emotional Intimacy or Sexual Skillfulness?

(About a 2 minute read)

A very experienced man, Patrick, tells me that the most pleasurable sex he’s ever had in his life came about as a one-night stand with a perfect, but perfectly skilled, stranger.

Patrick has been married for at least a dozen years to the love of his life.

I myself cannot say quite the same thing as him about the best sex.  The best sex I have had came about within a committed relationship.  But I do think I can confirm that — in terms of pleasure — sexual skillfulness can go quite far towards making up for a relative lack of emotional intimacy.

Confirm that for me, if for no one else.

Put differently, the notion that emotional intimacy is absolutely key to sexual pleasure might be a myth — at least for some people.  For while intimacy certainly enhances sexual pleasure for most of us, so too does skillfulness for most of us.

Our culture does not recognize that fact.  We are so often told that almost everything depends on emotional intimacy and emotional intimacy alone.  But is our culture doing us a service there?

I recall another friend of mine, Jennifer, telling me she stayed in an abusive relationship for six or seven years because she had convinced herself that surely she must be in love with her abuser or otherwise the sex would not be as mind-blowing as it was.

Was she encouraged to think that way by our culture?  Or was that her own idea?  Or both?

Who really knows?

It would be nice to see some science on the subject.  A few surveys might give us an idea how most of us rank emotional intimacy relative to sexual skillfulness.  In the end, however, there is no substitute for figuring out your own answer to the question.

As for myself, I am greedy and want both.  Give me warm intimacy and cold ice cubes!

Abstinence Only Sex Ed, Adolescent Sexuality, Bad Ideas, Cultural Traits, Culture, Denialism, Ethics, Human Nature, Life, Living, Memes, Morality, Morals, Sex, Sexuality, Society, Values, Village Idiots

Sex Education in the World Today

(About a 2 minute read)

I am of the alarming opinion that American and United Kingdom sex education is rather on the deficient side, crazy as my opinion might sound to this blog’s typically well-informed readers.

Nevertheless, even if that is so, there is fair and just cause for joint UK – USA pride.

We both beat India.

Continue reading “Sex Education in the World Today”

Free Spirit, Friends, Fun, Horniness, Humor, Life, Living, Play, Quality of Life, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, The Art of Living Well

Geri. Sexuality and the Single Genius Secretary

(About a 6 minute read)

The first I noticed that Geri — our sales office secretary — might have a more than usually interesting sexuality was when she put Chicago’s “Daily Sex Tips Hotline” on every speakerphone in the office.

That’s to say, Geri went desk to desk, dialed the Hotline’s number into all of our phones one after the other, and punched the “speaker” button.  The whole office was soon singing, “Men often do not play nearly enough with their partner’s breasts and nipples…”.

Continue reading “Geri. Sexuality and the Single Genius Secretary”

Adolescent Sexuality, Bad Ideas, Cultural Traits, Culture, Erotic Love, Ethics, Free Spirit, From Around the Net, Fun, Horniness, Human Nature, Jane Paterson Basil, Judgementalism, Learning, Life, Living, Love, Morality, Morals, New Love, Play, Seduction, Self, Self Identity, Self Image, Self-determination, Self-Flourishing, Self-Knowledge, Sex, Sexuality, Sexualization, Society, Stolen From The Blogosphere, Village Idiots

The Feral Sexuality of Teenage Girls

(About a 6 minute read)

It is easy to fall for the cliché that ours is the most sexually liberated age in history.  It might be actually closer to the truth if we were to think of ourselves as among the most sexually complicated ages in history.

Continue reading “The Feral Sexuality of Teenage Girls”

Coffee Shop Stories, Friends, INCOMING!, Lovers, Quality of Life, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality

“What If I Happened to be Fondling Your Butt…”

Dear Readers,

I was thinking tonight what if I happened to be fondling your butt and we were lovers, but not really friends.  Would I be fondling your butt any differently than if we were friends?

And I think, yeah, I think I would be.  I think — if we were not friends — I would be fondling your butt mostly for my own sake.  But if we were indeed friends, then I’d be fondling your butt for both our sakes.  I would want us both to win.

Just a reflection I had tonight after overhearing someone yesterday at my corner coffee shop tell her girlfriend that she didn’t want to date some guy because he was her friend — and she didn’t want to risk losing him as a friend.

Hah!  Wish I could fondle her butt!  I’d show her the error of her ways!

(Inexplicably, she declined my offer of participating in a scientific experiment to test her hypothesis about sex and friendship.  Even went so far as to call me “a dirty old man”!  Me!  The twenty-somethings these days!  Not at all as friendly as we were back in my day.  She wouldn’t even tell me her name.  There are no sensible people left! It’s all cold, aloof wackos out there now! Nutjobs and wackos!)

All the best,

Paul

Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Authenticity, Bad Ideas, Being True To Yourself, Ethics, Eudaimonia, Fairness, Free Spirit, Friends, Happiness, Honesty, Human Nature, Humanism, Liars Lies and Lying, Life, Living, Lovers, Morality, Morals, Obligations to Society, Passion, Quality of Life, Relationships, Self, Self-Flourishing, Sex, Sexuality, Society, The Art of Living Well, Values, Well Being

The Morality of Putting People to Narrow Uses

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: Paul offers his take on the morality of putting people to narrow uses, such as only being interesting in someone for sex, or only for their entertainment value.

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THE CRITICS GO NUCLEAR!  “Once again, Paul Sunstone has taken it upon himself to discuss morality.  Hence, once again he has taken it upon himself to load a high calibre rifle with a shotgun shell.  Typical Sunstone, he is oblivious to the fact the shell didn’t fit, and he is just as oblivious to the fact his notion of morality does not fit the moral requirements nor standards of human nature.  Sunstone is proposing a moral code for bacteria.” — Gus “Gunning Gus” Johnson, The Blog Critic’s Column, “Leper’s Gulch Gazette”, Leper’s Gulch, Colorado, USA.

Continue reading “The Morality of Putting People to Narrow Uses”

Adolescent Sexuality, Courtship, Free Spirit, Hate, Horniness, Human Nature, Jealousy, Life, Love, Lovers, New Love, People, Relationships, Seduction, Sex, Sexuality

“We’ve Entered Our Dangerous Years, Paul”

(About a 10 minute read)

Chris was one of the prettiest, most shapely beauties in our high school.  She was also one of the few in that category that I actually desired enough to want so much more than a casual friendship with.

You see, Chris was — like me — a bit of an outcast. We had the same bad reputation.  Folks said I had “quite a temper”, a “sharp tongue”, and that I was “contrary” — meaning that I tended to oppose things for no better reason than for the sake of opposing them.

Folks said exactly the same things about Chris.  She had quite a temper,  a sharp tongue, and — of course, being female, the word wasn’t “contrary” — Chris was a “bitch”.

Continue reading ““We’ve Entered Our Dangerous Years, Paul””

Aesthetics, Bad Ideas, Celibacy, Complaining, Cultural Change, Cultural Traits, Culture, Education, Erotic Love, Eudaimonia, Health, Horniness, Human Nature, Life, Living, Love, Lovers, Mental and Emotional Health, Pleasure, Quality of Life, Relationships, Self-Flourishing, Self-Pity, Sex, Sexuality, Shame, Society, Spirituality, The Art of Living Well, Values, Well Being, Whining

A Indelicate Post on the Most Delicate Topic of Simpatico Sex

(About a 5 minute read)

It has long been my personal, tender opinion that the pure Japanese genius for first seeing nearly everything as an aesthetic experience, and for then optimizing the aesthetics of those experiences — that the Japanese genius for that has only been defeated once — and once only — in the entire cultural history of that remarkable people.

The Japanese genius for aesthetics was overthrown when it took on sex.

Continue reading “A Indelicate Post on the Most Delicate Topic of Simpatico Sex”

Alienation, Cultural Change, Culture, Internet, Memes, Miscellaneous, Nudes, Quality of Life, Self, Self Identity, Self Image, Sex, Sexualization, Society, Values

You Can Tell a Lot About Someone from the Nudes They Email You

(About a 4 minute read)

I can still recall how surprised most of us were back in 1974 when someone pinned a semi-nude Polaroid photograph of Vicki on the high school announcements board in the hallway by the principal’s office.

Of course, it was only up for a few minutes before one of the teachers noticed it. Up just long enough for me to pass by, glance at it, and — this may surprise you — fail to realize it was a photo of a semi-nude girl!

Continue reading “You Can Tell a Lot About Someone from the Nudes They Email You”