Agape, Altruism, Art, Authenticity, Awe, Beauty, Being True To Yourself, Brotherly Love, Children, Community, Creativity, Dance, Education, Emotions, Enlightenment, Erotic Dance, Erotic Love, Ethics, Extended Family, Fairness, Family, Free Spirit, Freedom, Freedom and Liberty, Friends, Fun, Giving, Happiness, Honesty, Horniness, Human Nature, Humanism, Humanities, Ideas, Love, Lovers, Loyalty, Mature Love, Morality, Mysticism, Nature, New Love, Parental Love, Passion, Peace, People, Philos, Redemption, Romantic Love, Science, Self-determination, Self-Integration, Self-Knowledge, Self-Realization, Sense of Relatedness, Sex, Sexuality, Society, Spirituality, Talents and Skills, Transformative Experience, Unconditional Love, Vacilando, Wisdom

The Importance of Redemption

(About a 5 minute read)

I sometimes get the impression that plenty of us tackle the big ideas in life almost the day we escape our cribs for the first time.

“Gurk! Life is mine to seize! I see it clearly now.  I shall be my own hero. Gerp!” Or, “Poppels! But our capacity to love is what most defines us as moral. Twurks!  What’s this?  Why, it must be what what ma-ma calls, ‘poo’.  And look!  It’s endlessly shape-able!”

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Anxiety, Being True To Yourself, Conservative, Creative Thinking, Creativity, Fear, Free Spirit, Fun, Human Nature, Life, Oppression, Passion, People, Self, Self Identity, Self Image, Self-determination, Self-Knowledge, Spirituality

Our Fear of New Things

(About a 4 minute read)

“Somehow, as adults, we think we have to be perfect at everything that we do. So instead of trying something new, we don’t because we don’t want to make a fool of ourselves.”  — Jennifer Koshak

My mother had a genuine conservative streak in her. By “genuine”, I mean she sought all her life to save the best of what she found in life, to conserve the things of great value to her.

Along with her conservative streak, however, she loved to try new things.  New foods, especially — at least, so long as they were not spicy hot.

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Alienation, Alienation From Self, Attached Love, Attachment, Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Courage, Delusion, Emotional Dependency, Emotions, Free Spirit, Freedom, Happiness, Human Nature, Life, Love, Oppression, Passion, Self, Self Identity, Self Image, Self-determination, Self-Knowledge, Self-Realization, Spirituality, Transformative Experience, Wisdom

Living Within Our Walls

(About a 3 minute read)

It seems to be an exceptionally well recognized fact — albeit still very much a curious one — that most teens and adults have built psychological walls around themselves.

Growing up, I thought that was such a common thing for older people to do that I recall thinking walling yourself off was the mark of an adult — was what distinguished an adult from a child just as much as their size.  And — in a way — maybe that really is true.

What do most of us think of our walls?

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Alienation From Self, Angst, Anhedonism, Anxiety, Attached Love, Attachment, Buddhism, Delusion, Depression, Emotional Dependency, Emotions, Fear, Fun, Gluttony, Greed, Happiness, Human Nature, Life, Love, Lovers, Marriage, New Love, Quality of Life, Romantic Love, Self, Self-Knowledge, Sex, Wisdom

Pleasure is Like a Fire: It Warms You or it Burns

(About a 6 minute read)

I will be among the last people on earth to become an ascetic.   The idea of rejecting pleasure — all pleasure — for any reason gut-punches me.  It’s alien, it’s unnecessary, it’s outrageous.

Or at least that’s what my instincts tell me.  Whatever the reason, I simply wasn’t born to be an ascetic.  Not my path at all.  Someone else may “get” asceticism, benefit from it, but not me.

So it might seem curious to some of you that I have gone a full two years in my life without even once laughing out loud.  Not once in two years.

Continue reading “Pleasure is Like a Fire: It Warms You or it Burns”

Abuse, Adolescence, Adolescent Sexuality, Alienation, Art, Artist, Attached Love, Attachment, Celibacy, Competence, Erotic Love, Ethics, Free Spirit, Horniness, Human Nature, Lovers, People, Political Issues, Quality of Life, Relationships, Self, Self-Knowledge, Sex, Sexuality, Sexualization, Values, Wisdom

I Dumped Her When She Soaked Me With Buckets of Love

(About a 6 minute read)

Ask nearly anyone to sum up adolescence in a few words and most likely one of those words will be “confusing”.  Whatever else it is, that word is just as focused on a key truth as a teenage boy is focused on his friend’s suddenly perky nipples the very first time he espies them by the light of the werewolf moon.

What is often not mentioned, however, is how frequently adolescent confusions turn all manner of relationships into cruel ropes that jerk their victims back when they try to run from a bad situation.  Even blind or unintended abuse is magnified by the fact kids bond so quickly and firmly to each other.

Continue reading “I Dumped Her When She Soaked Me With Buckets of Love”

Alienation From Self, Authenticity, Bad Ideas, Being True To Yourself, Cultural Traits, Culture, Emotions, Free Spirit, Human Nature, Self, Self-Integration, Self-Knowledge, Spirituality, Wisdom

Dealing With Our Light and Dark Sides

(About a 4 minute read)

I have been thinking lately that, if we wish to live our lives to their fullest — that is, if we wish to flourish — then we will keep in touch with both the good and the bad in us, with both our light and our dark sides.

I’m not an avid fan of the notion — most famously expressed in Star Wars — that the two are separate discrete things, or that they can be split apart in any meaningful way.  However, it seems we are under considerable societal pressure to believe just that: That we not only can but ought to feed and nourish our good side, while starving out bad side.

But is that wise?

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Alienation From Self, Authenticity, Being True To Yourself, Free Spirit, Fun, Human Nature, Life, Oppression, Play, Poetry, Quality of Life, Self, Self-determination, Spiritual Alienation, Spirituality, Talents and Skills, Values, Wisdom

It’s Wonderful to be Reborn as Yourself

(About a 1 minute read)

It’s wonderful to be yourself.

It’s a release to be true —
A little short of finding god,
Which is almost as good as the smell
Of leather and of rain.

You feel your powers growing
As your talents fully express,
Burst the concrete
You laid above them
And leaf out for the light
of fun.

Yeah, you still must care
Socially, environmentally,
And all. You cannot murder,
You cannot rape, you cannot rob.
But putting bummers aside,
You can thrive, you can flourish,
You can live.

Often we don’t know how
Because we try to compromise
In order to please the bosses,
The spouses, the partners,
The families, the friends,
The peers, the public,
The leaders, the fools,
The dogs, the cats,
The rabbits, the mice,
And our barnyard lovers
Who once were our only
True fated friends.

It never ends until the day,
Which always comes a bit late,
When our love transcends
Both our fears and desires,
Reaches that mass that must
Now kindle into fire.

That’s when the walls
We made out of standards
We purchased from others
And hopes we could conform
Shudder and shake and shatter,
And we’re reborn.