You must learn not to be so superficial as to judge me, my friend, if we are to remain friends and peers.
The Rebirth
To my friend, Terese Bozdas.
Once I stood on the trembling ice
Of a mountain torrent in winter
Surrounded by granite boulders
And dared the wild waters to drown me.
I had lost my wife.
I had lost my home.
I had lost my hopes.
I had lost my dreams.
And I dared the wild ice
Beneath me to break.
It is curious how you can sometimes
Be so numb the desire to die
Is the only thing
That makes you feel alive.
It was only when you came to me
Some years later
Singing songs of friendship,
Singing songs of compassion,
That I felt at last
The rebirth, the renewal
Of Spring.
A Confusing Choice of Words
Most of us say we want to live according to the Truth when what we mean is we want to duck a little pain and suffering by seeking shelter in comforting lies.
This is more something to be understood about people than it is to be bewailed and condemned, for it seems to be a part of our nature that — as Nietzsche pointed out — most of us need to believe a few lies in order to be able to affirm life.
The Meaning and Purpose of Defiance
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: Paul offers his views on the meaning and purpose of life.
THE CRITICS EJACULATE! “The Grand Fraud of Blogging American, Paul Sunstone, excretes his opinions about the meaning and purpose of life in what can only be considered a shameless act of public urination. Life is fully terrifying enough without the addition of his muddled and confused vision for embracing it. I must insist upon the return of the guillotine. I must insist upon the return of justice to our world.” — Aloyse Leblanc, Le Critique Passionné de Blog, “La Tribune Linville”, Linville, France.
A Flock of Sparrows for Majel: Forty Years Ago and Last Night
(About a 2 minute read)
I. Forty Years Ago
I lie awake into the heart of a soft summer night,
Listening to the cicada shove life forward,
Beat upon beat, until their wild, shrill drumming
Is swallowed silent as a memory into time,
Then begins. Again.
And I remember Alison.
I lie awake into the heart of a soft summer night,
Listening to the cicada shove life forward,
Beat upon beat, until their wild, shrill drumming
Is swallowed silent as a memory into time,
Then begins. Again.
And I remember Alison.
Once a woman passed this way
Into the heart of a long ago summer,
On the wild, shrill scream of a generation then alive.
In their ending silence I became nothing, no more
Than my name.
I became numb.
II. Last Night
You know how it goes,
You meet people, good people,
Company for awhile.
They fall away,
Each one falls away.
One reason after another,
They fall away.
You gave up playing Twister with them long ago.
You no longer try to change your core
To fit inside their skins,
You’re not looking for a twin anymore.
One night you’re thinking about her
Was she the hinge, the turning point?
The first person you ever loved?
Yeah, she was the first person you ever loved.
And tonight maybe you’re finally seeing it true.
Maybe, you think — the thought comes too slow —
Maybe she was the only one who could have walked
The distance, the whole distance of your life
With you.
Why the did you leave her?
Why the hell did you leave her?
Does she have nights like you have nights now?
Did you betray not just your love,
But both your loves?
Maybe she didn’t love you all.
Wouldn’t that be better than you betrayed her?
But you can not believe now
— not now —
— not this night —
That she didn’t love you.
There is no refuge.
There is no salvation.
There is only the truth.
You would only go numb
If you ran again
From the truth.
How I Feel Like a Dog Some Days
I want to bark
& snarl & growl
Until the world
Clears a path for you.
The Irrational Side of Human Nature
(About a 5 minute read)
I am very familiar with the idea of both the artists and the scientists that we humans harbor an irrational ape. That you have only to scratch our surfaces to find a scared and confused ape looking out at the world through ancient eyes filled with fear, superstition, bias, and error. I am very familiar with that idea.
