Abuse, Alienation, Alienation From Self, Emotional Abuse, Human Nature, Judgementalism, Life, Love, Lovers, Marriage, Physical Abuse, Psychological Abuse, Quality of Life, Relationships, Religion, Religious Ideologies, Romantic Love, Self Image, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Spiritual Alienation, Spirituality, Values, Verbal Abuse

The Cheating Wife

(About a 2 minute read)

Father, I have seen how the morals you demand of me
In the name of your God and his hell
Are like winds from two quarters
That carry the dust to my eyes
No matter which way I turn
So I can no longer see the path I’m on,
Nor which path to take from here.

Father, I have seen how the morals you demand of me
In the name of your God and his hell
Are like tungsten rods encasing me,
Confining me to inaction and encouraging resignation
To my hell, the hell my husband
Has created for me that may yet
Prove to be a death camp.

You tell me right and wrong never alter,
Never turn from one into the other,
That I must keep my vows and stay with him,
Merely praying that your God will change his heart.

I am weary now like a bison after wolves
Have chased her for miles to her last stand,
I am all but exhausted and ready to die.
Your words do not comfort me, nor encourage me,
But sound only like you want me to surrender
To the fangs of my enemy, that he might
Rip my throat and my life from me.

You say I must not cheat.
But I am ready to cheat.
I have met one who comes walking
In the grace of love for me.
One who does not merely speak of love, but loves.
One whose touching me has passed a spark
To the dry and brittle twigs of my self-esteem.

He wants me to live, and through him,
I want to live too.

Yes, I know that I’m weak,
Too weak to love myself without him.
But he ignites me, and my weakness
Will soon enough burn away in a bonfire.

Father, have you never been so beaten down
You could not stand up without someone’s help?
Have you never been so tired
You could not go on without first you slept?
Have you never been so defeated
You could not renew yourself?

Father, in your eyes I am no more than a whore,
I am no more than a law-breaker, an outlaw.
But have you considered this:
Even a whore has a right to life,
Even an outlaw has a right to live,
And how moral can your morals be
If your morals deny my life?

This poem was inspired by a poem on Sarah’s blog, “Fresh Hell”, which can be found here.

10 thoughts on “The Cheating Wife”

  1. Very interesting.
    Sarah’s one-time-only sixth dozen:
    How often do you think that people in an abusive relationship flee straight into the arms of another abuser?
    What percentage of people do you think learn from their mistakes in love? Or is it only a matter of time for each person?


    1. Absolutely excellent questions. I’ve seen it happen many a time. Someone swaps one abuser for another. It also happens that someone becomes an abuser in their next relationship.

      And yet, I have also seen — somewhat less frequently — a person ending up with the love of their life that way.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. And when they are in positions of authority, they can be damaging and even dangerous.

      A minor note. I prefer not to think of them as having high morals. I prefer to think of them as having grim morals. Grimness is so inflexible, you see.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t mean to be crude, but I am of simple mind. Internet pornography has saved more than it has perverted in my opinion. It may keep more couples together rather than apart. Sure the lust may lie somewhere else, but the more time you spend with someone, the closer you grow.

    Abuse is an interesting aspect, since the space between the abuser and the abusee sometimes is a simple he said she said. Abuse does happen, but what was the intent behind it? Was it love or control? Was the abuse one sided or were both parties guilty of abusing the other in different ways? Men want to feel like a hero, and I have met plenty of women who accuse their husbands or boyfriends of abuse, just to start a fight. Some women want men to fight over them. And some men enjoy abusing their women, just as some women enjoy abusing their men.

    Is it the fault of the father or is it the first experience of love or lust that tricked these people into seeking out abusive relationships?

    I don’t mean to be too critical, I would just like to know what else took place leading up to these events.

    We know what we like, even when we know it will eventually hurt or kill us.


    1. I’ve noticed much the same thing about porn. It seems to be perceived differently by men and women. Women see it as a threat — even a form of cheating. Men do not think of it that way. They love their partners, and only want extra pleasure.

      I harbor a radical view of what constitutes abuse, B.C. One I don’t expect to be readily accepted by everyone. In my wacky way of seeing things, abuse — true abuse — is anything that causes us to unnecessarily become alienated from our true selves such that we are no longer authentic, no longer true to our selves.

      Again and again, I have seen abused people seek out abusers. It certainly doesn’t happen every time, but it happens often enough. I think it must have something to do with the fact that most abused people in relationships were abused as children. They seek out what they know and are comfortable with, rather than the strange and unfamiliar.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Daddy issues Paul, I think it is simply that. The love they felt was only part of the relationship.

        I think porn tends to take the power away from women. They enjoy the power they wield over men and porn distracts men from that. Feminism has done more harm to women than it is perception of liberation.

        I know this is not a popular opinion, but I believe in the world of companionship between men and women, women are only as valuable as their womb and fertility. Men on the other hand are only as valuable as their ability to provide and protect. That is the foundation of companionship in my mind. Procreation and protection. Without children, who in the most primitive sense, takes care of the elderly parents?

        That is why I don’t see men and women as equal, we each bring something different to each other. If we were equal, then why would we need companionship, if we can provide everything ourselves?

        Unfortunately, we are a generation and generations of men, raised by women. Never taught what it means to actually be a man. It’s gotta suck for all of these women out here, looking for a real man in a world where masculinity has become frowned upon. It’s a give and take, the farther we think we have progressed, the farther we move into oblivion.


      2. I can’t think of anything about which we disagree more than women and men. But I won’t get into it any further than that here, because I think I could write a book on our disagreements.

        I do however, feel I know you well enough by now to know you have your reasons for your conclusions, and that you’re not just pulling prejudices out of your butt. So that much, I can appreciate. I’d much rather disagree with a sensible man than find myself in step with a fool.


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